Choosing Change

Captain’s Log   6,075

When my sister and I went to New York in March of 2002, the memorials that people were placing around the city were still growing and becoming an even larger testimony to the memory of 9/11 that happened fourteen years ago today.  Grace Chapel’s fence was completely covered.

Powerful even though it’s now a memory for me

My sister awakened me that Tuesday morning with an early morning phone call.  “Turn on the TV.  I think we might be at war.”  A few moments after I turned on the news, the second plane hit.  I sat there glued to the television all day.  And the next day too.

We were at war and we have remained at war.  We are now engaged in a war with soldiers.  And we continue to be engaged in a war with our fear.  They are both destructive and deadly.  It has become so routine to scan for weapons that we don’t even think about it anymore.  Our fear has embedded itself into our psyches.  I don’t think twice about having to go through metal scanners at the country administration building so I can give a speech to the county supervisors or drop off a grant report.  We scan and scan and scan for bombs and weapons.   We do it without question.  Want to travel by air?  Prepare yourself to be scanned, questioned, touched, etc.

I think we have crossed the fence and there is no return.  At least not for a long time.  With idiots like Donald Trump surging ahead in the polls, we will continue to allow fear to fertilize our hearts, minds, and souls.  He wants us to be afraid of immigrants, women, and anyone else who might be off the conservative grid.

It scares me.  9/11 did not cause this.  It has been festering for years and years.  9/11 just gave fear a reason to bite back.

On this day of memory, I am choosing to look for the healing.  I am choosing to look at my own fear responses to people and situations.  I am choosing to change.