No No Nano For This Playwright

Captain’s Log   5,712

So the big novel writing month approaches.  NaNoWriMo or nanowrimo or National Novel Writing Month happens every November.  Thousands of people sit down and hammer out “novels” and then call it a day.  Or a month.  There is also an event in September that I wish I had known about.  There aren’t any word minimums to worry about.  And the content doesn’t matter either.  Much easier.

I tried the Nano thing once.  I finished my 50,000 words in 30 days and sent it off.  Then I got a button to put on my website allowing me to advertise my accomplishment.  It wasn’t an accomplishment at all.  It was pure garbage.  I threw it away.

Some people get a lot out of this.  Some of my friends have even used their Nano experience to publish real books.  I am not that lucky.  I am not that talented.  I am not that anything.  I am an online journalist and a playwright who cannot produce under pressure like that.  I highly doubt that I will ever be a novelist.  I just don’t have the discipline for it.  

Maybe if I didn’t work a totally crazy job and then another weekend job….. (hmmmm….sounds like excuses to me)

Maybe having more daytime hours to myself would result in more and better writing.  I was going to say more better writing to see if anyone noticed.  More better!  More better!  Flash a little neon.

I am at my peak about 8:00 in the morning.  That’s when the mental sparks fly and putting them into form is the easiest for me.  That is also the time when I am getting ready for work Monday through Friday.  Weekends are not an option for me.  I work on weekends and have social time with friends that I love.  Don’t get me wrong.  But just once, I would love to experience an entire weekend without ever having to get out of my jammies or go anywhere.  I would love to hang out, read, write, make scones, paint some furniture.  What is it like to have two complete days off with nothing to do?  The last time that happened, I had strep throat and nobody wanted to be near me.  I guess that’s always an option.  Pinkeye would be less painful and just as scary. 

But why do we always think we have to have an excuse to experience alone time?  Why is it not okay to say we just want to be alone?  Is it just me or do other people feel weird about that?  I think we are too insecure to say that stuff flat out honestly.  On the other hand, I also think we get really insecure if someone doesn’t want to spend time with us.  We immediately go into the darkness and get weird about ourselves and the situation.  Why?  

It just puzzles me.  Novelists need alone time to write.  I mean ALONE ALONE time.  That’s a hard commodity for some of us busy types.    Working on it.   Trying to make sense.  Fussing out my thoughts here so I can read them later.  Not that they mean much.  They are just here.  I need this place, this ritual, this time of writing down at least SOMETHING almost every day.