Are We Ready? Nope. Not Yet.

Captain’s Log    5,697

It’s the big run for the finish with the show.  Everything starts happening really really fast now.  We have a rehearsal tonight with props, dress, and make-up.  I will probably ask for a double run.  Tomorrow night is a line-run only because we cannot use the theatre.  Wednesday, we move in lights, and then run the show twice.  Thursday is a final dress rehearsal for an invited audience.  We open Friday!

Are we ready?  Almost absolutely.  There is one actor who is giving me fits.  He claims great talent and has had his script since August 24th.  If he is as good as he says he is, he should know every speck of dialogue in that entire script.  He has about 15 lines of dialogue in the entire show, and he cannot remember any of them consistently.  I am just sick about this.  I got angry on Saturday and threw my script on the floor.  I know that was mature, but I am SOOOOO exasperated!  His heart is in the right place, but he just doesn’t get it.  Not at all.  All the other actors have my permission to steamroll over him.  If he forgets something, they just move in and take over the scene.  I don’t care if they leave him standing there with his proverbial pants down.  I really don’t care.  Not anymore.  Everyone else is so good he stands out like a sore thumb.  Good thing it’s a short-lived sore thumb.

I think this fellow must have some sort of severe learning disability.  If he would admit that, I could have an easier time with him.  He must know what’s going on.  He’s an elementary school teacher!  Or, is it possible he is in total denial of his problem?  I also wouldn’t have as many issues with him if he didn’t gloat about how good he is.  That really gnaws on my bones.

Yes, bone gnawing.  The worst thing someone can do is fish for compliments by crowing.  ARRRRGGGH!  Do not tell me you are the best, SHOW me you are the best and keep your damn mouth shut!  I give great kudos to those who deserve it.  I do not give kudos to those who demand it.  I know it’s all about insecurity yadda yadda yadda…..but I have grown weary of that over time.  It drains my soul and actually makes me more angry than sympathetic.  In this case, I feel like I am dealing with a 5 year old child.  It doesn’t work.  Just do your damn job and stop demanding that I pay you compliments.  It ain’t gonna happen.  Not with this.  Not with anything.

We have some newbies in the cast who are learning the ropes very quickly.  They study hard and take direction well. They step up and offer to do things.  And they have NEVER stood there and waited for me to pat them on the head.  And because they don’t demand that head patting, guess what?  I praise them with all my heart.  If you show up and play the game right, you will win with me.  Start demanding or manipulating me, and the game’s over.  I will ignore you.  Not intentionally ignore you.  It just happens because I don’t resonate with desperation.   Some people think I don’t like them.  That is not true.  I just don’t like playing in a dysfunctional sandbox.  And that’s what I have going right now with this fellow.

I spoke with the artistic director about my issues, and she is in full agreement.  This fellow has had chance after chance.  This is a really big opportunity for him, and he continues to compromise the process.  He will not ever be cast in another production with this group.  He can run tech or do stage crew,  but he is not trustworthy on the stage.  She gets to tell him that.  That’s why she is the artistic director.  That’s what artistic directors do.  And that is why I was more than happy to take on the job as director of the show ONLY.  Nothing more.  I am not the one who delivers the bad news.

On a happier note, the project I submitted almost a year ago to the City of San Diego for the 2015 Centennial Celebration of Balboa Park has been funded!  OH MY GOODNESS!  It’s an enormous honor since they only picked 10 projects.  So now, I have to organize and produce a symphonic performance that includes cars.  I shall say JEEPERS!