When Nobody is Looking

Captain’s Log  4,410

Here is some cool spam trapped by my filter this morning.  Made me howl.  I don’t often read it.  I usually just delete, but sometimes it is very entertaining.

“The main moniker coupled with position owned by their bride’s imprisoned attendant, by and large them companion or possibly friend.”

The bride’s imprisoned attendant.  I’m sure there are people who might consider that the groom.  LOL!  Or maybe the groom is her possibly friend.  I love spam when it makes me laugh.  What I like about WordPress is that you don’t have to do the weird Captcha thing with the goofy words.  I hate that.  When I am using my phone, I rarely get that right on the first try.  With WordPress, you are free and clear.  It catches 99.9% of the spam you can just dump without reading if you choose.  Much easier.

Reminds me of a knock-knock joke for some reason.

Knock-Knock

Who’s there?

Sam and Janet.

Sam and Janet who?

Sam and Janet evening.

Get it?  Is it too obtuse?  Does the clue  Rodgers and Hammerstein help?  If not, it’s just another example of how I crack myself up when nobody is looking.

Here’s a list of other things I do when nobody is looking.  Stop the gutter minds now, please.

I dance.  I used to love dancing until I was told I am a complete idiot on the dance floor.  Nothing like a smack upside the head to pull all the wind out of your sails.  I have never danced in public since.  But I dance all the time when nobody is looking.  Get down!  Get funky!

I sing opera about mundane things like coffee grinders and hummingbird nectar.  When left to my own devices, I sing opera when doing chores around the house or driving the car.  “Who gave you a license, you stupid baaaassssstarrrd?”

I play air piano to Pandora radio.  I think in chords and music all the time.  Everything I hear is music.  I like to see how it all fits together, so playing imaginary chords on the table, legs, or any flat surface helps me put it all together.

I pretend I am an archeologist when I am geocaching.  This goes without saying.  Sometimes I peer over my shoulder to see if other “archeologists” are going to attack and steal the treasure.  I have yet to publish any scholarly papers on my findings.

I eat frozen veggie bacon with just about anything.  I could live on frozen veggie bacon.

I imagine tying Mitt Romney to the top of my car and driving to Canada.  I’ll hose him down once we reach Cleveland.

I walk carefully across plazas and large sidewalk areas to avoid the pits of Hades.  Come on!  We all do this!

I enjoy doing my laundry.  Don’t tell any about this one, please.

I try to bake.  One of my best humorous failures was using garlic cooking oil instead of regular cooking oil when I tried to make lemon sweet bread.  I thought it smelled funny while it was baking.  It tasted even funnier.

I do lots of other things but it’s time for work now.  It’s an interesting day in the museum neighborhood.  I’m not at liberty to discuss it here.  Let’s just say it’s amazing how quickly things can change.