When Nobody is Looking

Captain’s Log  4,410

Here is some cool spam trapped by my filter this morning.  Made me howl.  I don’t often read it.  I usually just delete, but sometimes it is very entertaining.

“The main moniker coupled with position owned by their bride’s imprisoned attendant, by and large them companion or possibly friend.”

The bride’s imprisoned attendant.  I’m sure there are people who might consider that the groom.  LOL!  Or maybe the groom is her possibly friend.  I love spam when it makes me laugh.  What I like about WordPress is that you don’t have to do the weird Captcha thing with the goofy words.  I hate that.  When I am using my phone, I rarely get that right on the first try.  With WordPress, you are free and clear.  It catches 99.9% of the spam you can just dump without reading if you choose.  Much easier.

Reminds me of a knock-knock joke for some reason.


Who’s there?

Sam and Janet.

Sam and Janet who?

Sam and Janet evening.

Get it?  Is it too obtuse?  Does the clue  Rodgers and Hammerstein help?  If not, it’s just another example of how I crack myself up when nobody is looking.

Here’s a list of other things I do when nobody is looking.  Stop the gutter minds now, please.

I dance.  I used to love dancing until I was told I am a complete idiot on the dance floor.  Nothing like a smack upside the head to pull all the wind out of your sails.  I have never danced in public since.  But I dance all the time when nobody is looking.  Get down!  Get funky!

I sing opera about mundane things like coffee grinders and hummingbird nectar.  When left to my own devices, I sing opera when doing chores around the house or driving the car.  “Who gave you a license, you stupid baaaassssstarrrd?”

I play air piano to Pandora radio.  I think in chords and music all the time.  Everything I hear is music.  I like to see how it all fits together, so playing imaginary chords on the table, legs, or any flat surface helps me put it all together.

I pretend I am an archeologist when I am geocaching.  This goes without saying.  Sometimes I peer over my shoulder to see if other “archeologists” are going to attack and steal the treasure.  I have yet to publish any scholarly papers on my findings.

I eat frozen veggie bacon with just about anything.  I could live on frozen veggie bacon.

I imagine tying Mitt Romney to the top of my car and driving to Canada.  I’ll hose him down once we reach Cleveland.

I walk carefully across plazas and large sidewalk areas to avoid the pits of Hades.  Come on!  We all do this!

I enjoy doing my laundry.  Don’t tell any about this one, please.

I try to bake.  One of my best humorous failures was using garlic cooking oil instead of regular cooking oil when I tried to make lemon sweet bread.  I thought it smelled funny while it was baking.  It tasted even funnier.

I do lots of other things but it’s time for work now.  It’s an interesting day in the museum neighborhood.  I’m not at liberty to discuss it here.  Let’s just say it’s amazing how quickly things can change.


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

20 responses to “When Nobody is Looking

  1. susanna

    I think it’s time for an Opera from you Poolie. You could take that for such a ride!!

  2. Linda Rush aka Swabby

    I love what you would do to Romney!!!

  3. For the good, we hope.

    Yes, you can dance with us any old time. Yes, you can be the intrepid explorer with us any old time.

  4. Ter

    I finally got the joke (caution: blonde thinking… even if it does come from a bottle). R&H didn’t help but totally makes sense now. Guess asking if you’d do our 8 bags of laundry is a bit out of the question. I really shouldn’t deprive Hubby of the joy 🙂

  5. I confess it didn’t smack me between the eyes until you mentioned Rogers & Hammerstein. Shame on me!

  6. Michelle

    I giggled pretty hard at that joke. 😀

  7. I enjoy doing launddry too…love the thought of fresh smelling clean clothes, fresh sheets on the bed, fresh towels in the bathroom. And you like bacon…..Yay….veggie bacon is good enough for me…..
    Can’t wait until you can share the good news at the museum….

  8. Hawkeye Pierce used the Sam and Janet knock-knock. (Double trivia.) As you know, Oscar Hammerstein is my favorite lyricist; I couldn’t miss that one.

    http://www.gocomics.com/baldo/2012/06/19 — I don’t know if I could imbed this, and I’m not going to try. But if you like knock-knock jokes, you should copy and paste that URL.

  9. I used to think that I was the best dancer in the world until I saw a video from a wedding I attended. Think two bulldogs fighting in a burlap bag and that’s what my ass looked like….oh the horror!
    I’m imagining you looking over your shoulder while geocaching and I’m giggling at my desk.

  10. Joel

    How many people remember R & H musicals? By the way I got it.

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