Tales of a Fictional Pirate Captain

A Natural 4th Celebration

July 4, 2009 at 10:42 am | In Uncategorized | 10 Comments

I decided to display my 4th of July madness by sharing photos of my gardens that have blossomed forth with great joy and abundance.

First out of the gate…….Miss Fuschia.

Garden 003

This plant is a true beauty that attracts all kinds of hummingbirds. I get happy just sitting on the patio and watching the show when the birds try to scare each other off.

Next….Mr. Baby Sago Palm.

Garden 002

Mr. Palm and his brother came to live in the gardens yesterday. They are very festive and very easy to grow. Right now, this particular plant is keeping Mr. Tomato in a Bag and Ms. Asparagus Fern company.

Speaking of Ms. Asparagus Fern…..here she is!

Garden 001

She started from a little 4″ potted plant last year. I am very proud of her. She is fecund. “Fecund” is such a weird-sounding word. “Fecund.” Sounds like it might mean “poop-filled.” Geeze, Harriet! Did you change the baby’s diapers! Sure smells fecund in here!

And last but not least, I present what I call….Eden Corner. It has a little bit of everything and is very lush. Mr. Sago Palm’s brother lives here too, but you can’t see him in the picture. The little pond thing in the lower right does not work. I am grateful. I had a pond at the other house and it kept me busy for hours every week. This whole area is naturally fertilized with rotten tree stumps and coffee grounds. It’s my favorite corner.

Garden 004

So happy holiday to everyone who celebrates this day. Be safe and stay smart out there on the roads. If you don’t celebrate this day, have fun and take advantage of every adventure that comes your way.

Captain’s Log 3,278

Bye, Sarah! It’s Been Swell!

July 3, 2009 at 6:15 pm | In Uncategorized | 22 Comments

sarahpalinb

I have to be honest here. I really AM going to miss Sarah! I learned a lot from her – things I never knew about gutting moose and waving at Russians across the Bering Strait. Now that she is retiring, I’m sure she will devote herself full-time to raising her children (and grandchild). I think she should start an online journal so I can put her on Google Reader. And yes, I can poke fun of Sarah Palin because I am always ready, willing, and able to poke fun at myself. If I had a broom up my ass about my own standing here or anywhere else in Cyberland, it would be a different story. But as far as I’m concerned, I am the Queen of Self-Deprecating Humor. There are certain “perks” that come with that title, and snarking on Sarah is one of them.

On the plus side, she set the Republican party back about 50 years, and that is a good thing – in my humble opinion. I have always been for the underdog – for those whose interests cannot be represented fairly. It’s my journal and I’ll spew if I want to, spew if I want to….you would spew too if it happened to you! Sing it, Leslie!

So what does “it happened to you” mean, anyway? As a female growing up in this country, I was subjected to unfair labor practices, unfair wages, verbal and physical attacks based solely on my gender, and the assumption that I am dumber than a bag of hammers. As far as I can tell, the Republicans haven’t done much to change these social concerns and issues. I think they might respect women who are considered “ball busters,” but that is SO un-like me. I am not a ball-buster. Not even 5% on any given day. I consider myself to be more of a “brain basher.” I wiggle those hammers around in my head and actually make a little sense every now and then.

Just yesterday, I replaced an exiting staff member at the museum (male) with someone very highly-qualified (female), and it was brought to my attention that we might have too much female energy on the staff now. It never crossed my mind when I made the hiring choice. The males on the staff heartily agreed that the new female will be an incredible addition to the creative team. They didn’t see any disparity or gender issues either. They actually encouraged me to hire her because they admire her as a person – and that’s the way it should be. I know I did what was best for the museum at this time, but dang! I wasn’t ready for the “female energy” argument. What the hell does that mean? A serious lack of whining, tolerance for physical discomfort, and a massive ability to multi-task? Doesn’t sound like a bad deal to me!

So farewell, Sarah. You provided some good fodder. Don’t ever stop! Just stay out of the political arena and we can have some great fun with your antics.

I can’t believe I just said “antics.”

Captain’s Log 3,277

Farewell to a Living Friend

July 2, 2009 at 7:19 am | In Captain Poolie's observations | 16 Comments

I write this entry to the former good friend of mine who went through all kinds of jostling and moving and turning about of her body the other night simply to avoid making eye contact with me while we both stood in a long line for pizza at the Costco window.

Dear A,

Right out of the gate, please know that I actually did see you and your husband the other night at Costco. I know you saw me too because you made such a point of making sure your backs were turned to me at all times. It is kind of tricky to do that in a serpentine line, but you did a magnificent job. You almost pulled it off, but your distinctive red hair gave you away.

This isn’t the first time you have done this to me. We have a history of such things. My guess is we have been good friends three or four times in the last fifteen years or so. I even set you up with a journal on Diaryland where you wrote sweet things about your new baby daughter. When your son struggled with drugs, I was there to support your tough love efforts. I also visited your son when he was in the group home. I took him under my wing at the church retreats every summer.

After your divorce from your first husband, you stopped coming around. You didn’t return emails or phone calls. I had to lie to the secretary where you work to get past the “gate” by pretending to be a vendor. But then, when you heard about my broken leg, you sent over all kinds of medical supports manufactured by your company. When I recovered, you had me over for dinner.

And then you went away again, and I didn’t see you until after you had re-married and had that gorgeous baby girl. You said you were starting fresh. You wanted a second chance. I saw you every week for a long time. We met for coffee and you coached my writing efforts. And then, you just stopped calling. You no-showed me at the coffeeshop. Once again, you chose to disappear.

There is always an excuse when you go “underground.” You have used the term “in a bad space” quite often. I guess I am supposed to understand what that means. I guess I am supposed to be okay with your strange disappearances and avoidant behaviours.

Well, A, I am here to tell you that I am no longer okay with what you do. Your actions piss me off. I have never been anything but loving and supportive through every challenge you have faced. I am tired of starting over with you. You are simply too much work for me.

I wish you well. I wish you freedom from the demons that haunt your soul and make you choose to treat your friends and family so unfairly. I am worn out. There is nothing more I can give you.

Love,

Poolie

There comes a time when you must release what is no longer working. Every relationship has challenges, but what I have been through with A goes above and beyond the call of duty. It’s over. She can hide from me at Costco or anywhere else all she wants. It’s her problem, not mine.

Captain’s Log 3,276