Captain’s Log 5,595
It’s time to call out the big guns. I rattled my sword the other day and blurted out words like “bullshit” and “asshat.” I stopped short of “pencil dick” and “walnut balls.” Grrrr!
Captain Jack, my hero
I might even call out the mean kitty. I don’t even like cats. I mean, I really really REALLY do not like cats. Sorry, cat lovers, but it’s the truth about me. Life-compromising allergies that send me to the ER or no allergies, I cannot abide animals that shit in the house and and then walk all over the kitchen counters with their poopy feet. Or then stick those poopy claws into your leg. Damn! I can see the comments coming right now about my feelings for kitties. Even so, a mean kitty might not be a bad idea right now.
Claw-ripping powerhouse
The dunces are back. In full regalia. Bigger and more stupid than ever before. Just when I thought people could not be any more dunce-like, they proved me wrong.
