Captain’s Log 5,944
I will admit it. The winter holidays are NOT my favorite time of the year. I find the demands of the museum (which are huge because of tourism) and personal obligations combine to bring me to the point of great angst at times. I don’t think people understand that my work actually escalates during this season, and stress levels go sky high. It’s not like regular jobs where people goof off most of the month. I’m sure the same is true for people who work in hospitals. The season of good cheer becomes an emotional and physical burden.
I should complain. No, I should stop complaining. I am grateful to have so many people who love me, but I never feel I do them any justice during this time of year because I spread myself way too thin. Go here. Go there. Supply the gifts for this event. Organize that event. I cannot imagine how people with children cope. But trust me, there are times I would gladly trade what I deal with for a house full of kids.
I got edgy yesterday. I have a volatile staff person who was out of control and refusing to listen to me. The issue was completely insignificant, but this staff member decided to start a world war with someone else who works for the museum. It’s not the first time. These two can battle over the slightest matters.
The more I tried to make my point to calm down and be reasonable, the more things escalated. I finally had to resort to banging the table with great force to get the nonsense to stop. I hit it with enough impact to knock the phone out of its cradle. The shouting continued until I pulled rank and reminded this person about who is the boss – who signs the paychecks – who gets to make the rules around here – who has the last say in all matters. I became the ogre boss. Big time. Angry angry ogre boss who was not about to let this person continue to abuse other people.
Hindsight is 20/20. I should have sent this person home for the day without pay. Maybe a little public humiliation would have been a good thing. My anger got in the way of good sense. This incident was the icing on the cake for me. I have tried everything to work the gentle side with this employee, and it is an exercise in frustration. The big problem is the over-talking. This person refuses to just shut up and let someone else talk until they are finished talking. The person finds one statement or word and literally explodes while the other person is trying to make a point or explain something. Attack attack attack.
My gentle approaches in the past have failed. My angry approach yesterday brought tears and sadness. I will admit I was glad to see those tears. Is it awful of me to be glad I made someone cry?
I think my next approach with this staffer bee will require attendance in a peaceful communication workshop. It will be a requirement for keeping that job. I am sick of the path of destruction caused when this person is upset. Truly sick of it. I am sick to death of trying to work around someone who says, “This is how I communicate” when that communication is so destructive to other people. Especially now during the stressful holiday times.
I decorated last night. That usually means one string of lights hung somewhere. I treated myself to new lights at Home Depot this year. $2.50 for so much holiday cheer.
Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.