More Illuminati

Captain’s Log   5,207

They just keep coming in!  Slowly but surely.  We all do realize that if a certain person gets elected, he could initiate a police state that would have us all arrested.

I was talking with Friend Pam about this very thing yesterday.  That’s all fine and good, but he’s going to need a LOT more prisons to house us all.  Unless with all go to the Arizona desert with Sheriff Joe and wear pink jumpsuits and live in tents.  That’s also a possibility.

I suppose the other alternative is “work camps.”  If Mexico has to build its own wall, it only makes sense that we prisoners will have to build our own work camps.  And with Trump’s son loving Holocaust jokes so much, who knows where we might end up?  I am liberal AND college-educated.  Toss in the fact that I have a vagina and am older than 60.  I’m sure I would go to the head of the line.

And so the dangerous Illuminati group started here continues……

illum-30

This is LeiLani.  Wearing what looks like a vintage carpetbag (or old cloth Hoover bag from the 1930’s) on her head, she is in charge of all things mystical.  She collects spells and incantations that have a myriad of applications and purposes.  To the untrained, she appears to be a harmless carnival worker schlepping around with toothless carnies who set up shop in small towns across America to rip off unsuspecting victims.  Once she has convinced a “mark” to toss a few darts or shoot water into the mouth of a plastic clown, she turns her magical eyes on them to see if they are hypnotized.  Once they are under her spell, she implants secret codes that induce various responses.  For example, when they hear the words,  “Ann Coulter is a trollop with a polyp,” they march to their local chapter of the ACLU and become vocal activists for those oppressed by racism and bigotry of all types.  These unwitting souls help us achieve our New World Order.  On her off time, Leilani creates Game of Thrones action figure clothes from her old carpetbags.  She sells them on Esty.  

illum-3

This is Lyle.  He is our mascot.  There isn’t much to say about him except he looks quite dashing in his yellow slicker.

18 Comments

Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

18 responses to “More Illuminati

  1. Susanna

    Lyle is too cute not to have a story. Just think of what you could roll out for this cutest weirdest little face of a dog.

  2. Why make ourselves miserable by watching the returns?? There is nothing we can do to change things if either one wins–unless we get an 11th hour White Knight (which is unlikely), we’re just in for a rough 4 years.

  3. poundheadhere

    Arrr, Matey, that be a right awful picture, but ye be correct about the mystical magical fluff. I be dangerous in the right mind.

    Of course having never been in me right mind, there’s precious little threat.

  4. Patty O'

    Kyle is a bit scary. Are you sure he isn’r an attack mascot?

  5. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr you sure that’s what ye wanted to be postin’ about today of all days, matey?

  6. bholles

    Will be so happy when this election is over.

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