Captain’s Log 5,196
So I seem to have developed an intolerance for mayo now. It doesn’t surprise me. It’s really quite rich and those foods don’t set well with me. I actually don’t even LIKE mayo that much. I grew up with the tangy taste of Miracle Whip, and I prefer that.
Mayonnaise is made out of oil and uncooked egg yolks. It’s essentially raw, greasy eggs. Why on earth would I want to eat that? Barack Obama doesn’t like it. Jimmy Fallon says it tastes like pus.
A friend suggested I might consider an endoscopy to figure out why mayo upsets my stomach. WTF? Swallow a tube with a camera in it? Hell no! Oh hell no! I can’t even swallow an aspirin much less a damn TUBE!
It seems far easier to stop eating mayo than put myself through a traumatic medical procedure.
And no offense to all the lovely people in Europe, but what the hell are you doing to your French fries (or chips)?
I respect the tradition of eating fries with mayo, but I just can’t do it. Sorry. I need ketchup.
When I was in the Netherlands, I asked for my fries with ketchup. So they served me fries with ketchup AND mayo. Oh dear.
So I will just give up mayo. It’s truly disgusting no matter how you might try to defend it. Greasy, raw eggs that have the taste and consistency of pus. I do NOT need to swallow a damn tube to figure out why it makes me sick. I don’t care that much. I will simply never eat it again.