Big Bang Theory

Captain’s Log    5,182

Fireworks are over for another year.  They weren’t so wonderful this year. But at least they didn’t explode in an enormous boom like they did in Plymouth, MA last night.  About 15 minutes into the display, everything that was left went off all at once.  That happened here in San Diego four years ago on the very first ignite.  BOOM!


Huge whoopsie on the San Diego Bay

Well, that’s one way to get rid of the  crowds quickly.  Turn a 30-minute show into 10 seconds of fire.

Fireworks are dangerous.  My home town almost burned to the ground in 1936 because kids were playing with fireworks near some oily rags in an alley.  Fireworks have been illegal in Iowa ever since.  The only legal ones are shot off by professionals at an organized event.

remsen fire

Real image of the actual fire in Remsen, Iowa

The 4th of July also brings out the asshats who court danger and injury.  Like…this guy with a Roman candle in his pants.


Is there something in male DNA that makes them do such stupid shit?

I have done my fair share of stupid shit too, but none of it has ever involved intentionally sticking explosives near my genitals.  I have never unintentionally stuck explosives near my genitals.  I do know women who have stuck lit sparklers in their butts, however.  They are no longer friends of mine.  A condition of friendship with me is that you will never put any sort of burning item in or near any body cavity.  Because I don’t want to be the one who takes you to the ER and has to explain your stupid shit-ness to the doctors while you lie there writhing.

It seems as we get older the chances of being around people with a lit firecrackers in their asses gets less and less.  It’s one of the perks of aging.


And then, the Donald got into it again with this horrendous image of Hillary Clinton.  Using a Star of David and piles of money, this image says….well…..we all know what it is supposed to say.

hillary meme

Trump says this isn’t necessarily a Star of David.  Maybe it could be a sheriff’s badge?  Maybe?

Interesting concept, Donald.  Maybe Hitler used the same image to “deputize” Jews, liberal thinkers, gypsies, homosexuals, mentally-challenged people, and anyone else he deemed dangerous to his dream of an Aryan state.  As bad as this gets, there are still people who support Trump.

Donald Trump could stomp a bag of puppies to death on national TV and people would still support him.  I swear they would.

They will continue to support him until he comes for them.

I cannot wait to see what the Republicans do in a few weeks in Cleveland.  It’s going to be a circus for sure.


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

20 responses to “Big Bang Theory

  1. Joanie

    Hilarious. I didn’t realize that anyone would ever stick a lit sparkler in their ass. But I’m actually surprised that I’m surprised. Nothing much surprises me anymore.

  2. Patty O'

    For all: Things have changed in the world of fireworks. In recent years there have been ever more stringent rules, higher permit costs, and limits to allowable residue accepted. Many communities have banned then altogether and others have made the procedure so difficult that fireworks companies no longer bother to apply. Displays that were sponsored by community organizations/service clubs, for example, cannot possibly afford the fees, even IF they can get a permit, which is not easy. I fear we will never see the really spectacular shows again on a local level.

  3. susanna

    Sea World was a lack luster affair this year in my opinion. A bit of a Shity Shity Bang Bang.

  4. Patty O'

    You can imagine how I felt when elder son cheerfully informed me more than a decade ago that he was taking up pyrotechnics as a hobby. He worked with and for a couple who owned their own company and were part of a bug 200+ year family tradition of Italian fireworks. They were fanatics about safety and sternly limited who went anywhere near the explosives. When transport was required the owner did it himself. My son has given it up now and I admit to having heaved a HUGE sign of relief. Back to the Southern California highways where everything is SAFE, right?

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  6. In our side of the world, a trustee from jail was helping to clean up debris and saw what he thought was a smoke bomb leftover from Sunday. So, he, in his wisdom, lit it and blew his hand apart and off. He’s 25 years old!

  7. I can remember fireworks going off all at once in San Diego too, but it was many years before your incident. We watched the Boston Pops and the fireworks display on t.v. Safer, and we don’t have to worry about driving home in a crowd of possible drunks. BTW, our railroad depot burned to the ground in 2008 because some ‘kids’ (in their 30’s) were drinking beer and setting off bottle rockets behind the depot. Neighbors called the police, who came and talked to the guys — told them to go home and sleep it off. Right — the idiots came back at 3 a.m. and proceeded to set off the remaining bottle rockets. One of them went underneath the depot and that’s all she wrote. 100+ year old building and fresh paint inside — what more do you want for a bonfire?? We were less than 3 weeks from reopening the Depot as a museum. And we had a fire sprinkler system, but it hadn’t been charged up yet. Sad.

  8. Hmmm. I don’t seem to have earned that particular “perk” of aging yet.

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