Captain’s Log 6,112
The white elephant party was a lot of fun. The gifts were quite tame this year. No hairy underpants. The best gift was a stiletto cookie jar that I wanted to steal but never had the opportunity.
I never got the chance to steal anything because I was second up for gifts and I wound up with a dozen yellow golf balls. I looked them up online. $36! I left them with the host because he said he golfs. I didn’t tell him I was leaving the balls. I just tucked them next to his laptop on my way out. He’s a guy. Probably will be thrilled to have 12 extra balls.
No chance to steal something fun when you end up with these
My gift was the last one opened. As ugly as that teapot was, most people thought it was really pretty. I was floored! It got traded around after the party. I was amazed.
The best gift was brought by Big Sister Mia.
Assorted dips and BBQ sauce from the Big Cock Ranch
It was all in a white paper bag with the words “Sack of Shit” printed on the outside. And all of that was put into a Christmas bag. She definitely won.
Ugly high heels also made the rounds. Really ugly. But one guy who is the artistic director of a local theatre was thrilled because they are doing The Rocky Horror Picture Show next year. He is going to need big high heels. And he got them.
Other gifts included:
a ceramic red purse that can be used as cookie jar
a burlap wall hanging
a syrup decanter in the shape of a bear
a pink pillow in the shape of lips that lights up
Next year, I am bringing a bottle of Patron to see if we can get the stealing started.
That should do it. I have three of these still in the box. I think I can spare one.
Tonight is the staff Christmas dinner. We are going to a really small but nice Italian place. Not everybody is happy, but hey. The boss (me) approved the dinner and the board approved cash gifts for everyone. Naysayers either need to stay the fuck home or shut up. Sometimes, it seems the nicer you are to people the more fussing they do. Oh fie. Just fie!
Really looking forward to the 3-day break even though my personal life won’t slow down one iota. Stuff to do all the time. But I am not complaining. At least there are people out there who want to spend time with me. That means a lot.
I go back to work December 28th and work through until January 8th. Holiday time is not restful and peaceful for our museum.