Party Pooper Poolie

Captain’s Log    6,107

It’s the season of parties.  They cause me quite a bit of anxiety.  Actually, a LOT of anxiety.  I do really well when I know people (like George and Mage) or there is some reason for the party….like Cards Against Humanity or poker.  Those parties are fun.  But when I am asked to mingle with strangers…..not so good for me.


I am even having anxiety about our staff Christmas dinner.  I know my presence there makes people behave better than normal.  I know they would have a lot more fun if I wasn’t there.  But I sort of have to go.  One year, there was so much discord among the staff that I asked them to vote anonymously if I should come or not.  I was happy to stay home if that was what most people wanted.  All of this was stirred up by one staff member who is very defensive about everything…..especially me at the time.

I wasn’t being a big martyr about it.  I was seriously asking if the party would be more fun for them if I stayed home.  I got three votes out of 10 asking me to come.  No other ballots were cast.  I think the other 7 were too chicken to ask me to stay home.  All of this discord stirred up because one disgruntled staffer bee felt persecuted by me.

Being a boss is not always fun.  It is more NOT fun than fun.  I have personal standards that exceed what most people on my staff can live up to.  That is how I was raised and educated.  I never think twice about giving 110% to anything.  When I lived in Minnesota, that was the norm.  That is how people behave there.  They give and give and smile and give some more.  That is not the case here.  I noticed it right way.  Work ethic is not high on the list for most people here.  Granted, there are some who dig in and go the extra mile, but I have to search for them both professionally and personally.  I had one decent friend the first years I lived in San Diego.  She is my friend Pen Pen and she was raised on the east coast – another place with excellent work ethic.  She lives in Montana now and we don’t spend nearly enough time together anymore.  Distance and time.  Pooh.


The only place I have not had to struggle with people standing up to task here was when I was working in the arts.  People who engage in the arts are very different beasts.  They are driven by passion, and nothing gets in the way of that.


So I don’t engage well with the masses.  Not for real.  But….I am very skilled at pretending it’s all good.  That came about through years and years of working on a stage.  About 10% of the time, I really did not want to be there.  But that work ethic thing allowed me to push through and give it my all.  That’s what artists do.

I never come across as anxious.  Most of the time, I come across as quiet.  Reserved.  Unless I really know the people, I stay very close to the bone.  I am not unfriendly, I am just not Poolie.  It’s much easier for me to do that here in this journal.  The most authentic me comes through in my writing.  Interesting.  At least it comes through somewhere.


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

19 responses to “Party Pooper Poolie

  1. Joanie

    Totally understand what you mean about work ethic. I see it every day even when I visit the restroom and see paper towels, etc, all over the floor. What makes someone who works there not bend over and pick that stuff up then wash their hands, knowing that clients will be in there after them.? They just figure “not my job.” It makes me sick!

  2. Hopefully soon you’ll be done with the “official” party circuit. If you choose to spend time with friends, that’s fine – but no more office parties.

  3. goatbarnwitch

    Work ethic and honesty are becoming rare creatures… I agree that being put in a room of strangers where one must pose properly is uncomfortable and boring. Better to quietly bow out since those who thrive on that stuff don’t notice those who do not…
    The boss thing, OH YES, people think it must be so much better but it is not and must be survived by knowing who you truely are or you are bound to become a tirant or a whimp. Work ethic of mine gifted to me by parents who survived the depression and had deep commitment to doing the right thing above all else. It may have been awkward to grow up with older parents but the gift of honest work is priceless.
    A Merry Kringle season to you!

  4. Parties are difficult even when they’re with family. Always difficult to find something to wear (I hate to shop for clothes) and looking forward to being able to get the heck out the door! Jammies, coffee and a good book… nothing like it.

  5. I can certainly relate to this blog subject. I’ve found that most hard workers are from the Midwest and the North. Guess because we had to get through all those long winters or something. Hope you can get through the social requirements and then get home to your beloved jammies, and books and birds.

  6. bholles

    I don’t like parties either.

  7. Patty O"

    I love being with friends and can also love being at an affair that includes strangers. But ALL strangers I do not enjoy one bit. I can “turn it on” when it is politic to do so but I do not like it. My New England strict work ethic I got from my father. Add the Catholic sense of guilt and you get One Hard Worker. Happily I passed that on to my children, who all work flat out and then some. As an employer I encountered some real duds, but also two superb high school girls who helped after school and on Saturdays and my beloved Teal, who became a member of our family. She was my rock during the years I had to be free to care for my parents. She met her husband while she was working for me and they just celebrated their 25th anniversary. She was a LIFE keeper as well as a SHOP keeper!

  8. Penny Tushingham

    Thank you for the compliment. Customer Service is my main button and that is why I still have San Diego clients 27 years later. There isn’t much work ethic in the younger generation. You can find a few here and there but overall, it’s not there unfortunately. They so much have the “you owe me attitude” and someday that is going to bite them in the ass when the generation behind them doesn’t play the same game.

    I am usually the wall flower by the door at parties which I rarely attend anymore. I just don’t have the patience for playing the “social bullshit games” anymore.

    Pen Pen

    PS Hopefully, in the years to come we will have another opportunity to spend more time together for more adventures. Looking forward to our February adventure.

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