The Art of Going Away

Captain’s Log   6,106

Yesterday’s fun included a brush fire in the canyon directly behind the museum around 5:00 last night.  I was at a funeral/memorial service when my phone started rumbling in my pocket.  It was our business manager letting me know what was happening.  I left the memorial and headed right over to the park.  It was totally dark by the time I got there, and the fire had been extinguished.  There were still police vehicles out front and one hook and ladder unit was still behind the building.  The park rangers were also there.  It had been quite exciting.  When they first noticed the smoke, it was so dense that the police and fire crews thought the building was on fire.

It’s always something.  Always.  This is one of the weirdest jobs I have ever had.  Because it never stops.  Ever.  I am on call 24/7.  When I actually DO decide to completely turn off my phone (which is rare), something always happens.  It’s easier for me to just keep the damn thing on.  I may turn it to vibrate notification, but the phone is still on.

I also love it when people expect me to answer my phone immediately.  Just because I have that phone does not mean I can answer it.  I also drive.  I go to meetings.  I am on another call.  I am spending quality time with someone else at that moment.  A cell phone is not some magic portal that allows me to be accessed immediately.

And….this is my HUGE peeve.  People who do not listen to their cell phone voicemails.  They see that you have called, so they text you (without listening to your message) and say things like…  “What’s up?”  GRRRRRR!  If they would listen to their voicemails, they would know what’s up!  I actually leave very few voicemails now because nobody listens to them.  I simply let their voicemail greeting answer and then I hang up.  They get a notification that I called.  Granted, I only do this with personal calls.  I am completely professional when I use my phone for business.


Someone has signed me up for disability insurance online.  Every day, I must receive at least 10-15 sales calls from different companies about buying a policy.  I have my suspicions about who would do something like this.  For about 5 years, I had to deal with a very vindictive, infantile person who made my life a living hell.  I am sure that person is behind this whole thing.   I also get at least 20 emails a day wanting to sell me insurance.  I know this person has done the same juvenile shit with their (using “their” incorrectly as to not identify the gender of the person I suspect) own neighbors, so this would not surprise me.


I am amazed at a world where people have nothing better to do than be mean and hateful to others.  The only thing I can do to counteract such ignorance is to try to be kind, gentle, and understanding……but not necessarily to those people.   Sometimes, it’s best to  walk away and stop trying.   I must  gently remove those people from my life – people whose values compromise my happiness, my values, my self-worth.   The best way is to quietly slip away.  Most of these people are so blinded by their narcissistic self-righteousness that they won’t even notice you’ve left.    Slip out the back, Jack.  Make a new plan, Stan.  Drop off the key, Lee.  And get yourself free.

They say that the people who are the most difficult to love are the ones who deserve it the most.  I might agree with that if we are talking about children.  I think once we become adults and make choices about how we communicate, this whole idea of “difficult to love” is utter bullshit.  I think “difficult to love” morphs into “I am going to be a manipulative, self-absorbed asshole and you are going to suffer because of it.”  Not fair.  Not right.  Not my deal.

Have I ever become trapped by such a person?  Of course I have.  It’s normal because there are a lot of asshats out there.  We are abound to find a few.  As we gain more self-confidence, we are able to shed the emotional chains that keep us tethered to what is unhealthy.  We get smart enough to see it before we fall into it.   We trust the little bells that go off inside our heads….the warning bells that only serve to protect us….the bells we ignore when we second guess ourselves and start bargaining about the choice we KNOW is wrong.   Any time we bargain with our happiness, we are being self-abusive.

So, there are times when it’s best to walk away.  Or slip away slowly.  Fade off into the color of a silver sunset among so many clouds you will never be found.  Sometimes you just gotta go away.

go away


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

18 responses to “The Art of Going Away

  1. Patty O"

    I remember being at the Museum for a special event one day when there was a fire in the canyon. Scary stuff!

  2. George and I laughed. Sorry we laughed, but we have “Bridgette” calling umpteen times a day about our banking. We understand. Sooooooooooo sorry. Glad the fire missed you, the flood repairs are good, but where’s the pestilence? Is that like “Got Milk?” Have we “got pestilence?”

  3. C Duff

    Loved this, well stated, thank you I’m going already!

  4. Amen… I like the whistle thing… I screen my calls as much as I can. Only one phone in the house has caller ID — and it’s in my office — 4 rings isn’t quite enough to make it when coming from the other end of the house, so I just let it ring. I’m at the point where I don’t want to belong to any groups that hold meetings! My time is getting more valuable by the minute and I don’t want to misuse it.

  5. You must have had me in mind when you wrote the last part of this blog. I am still in shock (and I shouldn’t be) at the mean attitude of the most recent person who took me for granted and unloaded. Thanks for the pep talk even if you didn’t know I needed it. Love you.

  6. susanna

    Count me in. I too am amazed that others don’t listen to the messages I leave. Sometimes I have just left a message with all the details and at the end I hear my phone ringy ding before I hang up and it’s them, so I repeat the message. That sucks about the vindictive friend. My case is different, I have been the duffus that clicked into a car insurance and a solar offer; those calls are still coming in years later!

  7. Patti

    So, what’s up? Nah, jk!

  8. Penny Tushingham

    If you continue to get those calls just tell them you have just received word that you have terminal cancer and therefore, do not need their services. Might be a bit excessive but it will stop them in their tracks and hopefully stop the calls.

    When dad died I would get multiple calls on his line and when I said he wasn’t available, they would get pushy wanting to know when they could talk to him. Finally, I just started saying “he’s dead” so he won’t be available to talk to and that stopped the calls. I tried to cancel his Exxon card but since my name wasn’t on it, they said they had to hear from the card holder himself. So, I pulled out the “he’s dead” line and it finally stopped the person in their tracks and they cancelled his card.

    I was getting multiple calls a day from people claiming my computer had a problem. I started blowing a whistle (very loud one) and guess what, no more calls. I was nice at first and requested that I be taken off their call list. told them I was going to file a complaint with the police for harassment, etc.. But that didn’t work so I had to resort to drastic measures.

    Pen Pen

  9. bholles

    I have the same problem with people not listening to their messages.
    I dont understand that one bit. It is very annoying.

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