Captain’s Log 6,093
Look what I get to wear now!
Oh yeah! I now suffer from bruxism. It’s a fancy name for grinding your teeth or clenching hard during sleep.
I think “bruxism” actually sounds a bit like some sort of kinky sexual practice that involves naughty bits connecting with non-naughty bits in new and exciting ways. It really does sound more like something you practice as opposed to something you suffer. The word has Greek roots – brukhein. That does NOT sound Greek. That sounds totally German to me, but what do I know? I’ve never suffered from this before.
And the word “suffer” is a bit misleading. I didn’t even know there was anything wrong with me in the bruxism arena. But apparently, my dentist has been keeping an eye on it for a year or so. After two rounds of orthodontia, I do not want to damage my teeth to something called bruxism. I don’t want to fuck them up opening beer bottles with my teeth either.
I get my fancy dancy mouth guard today, and it seems a shame to only enjoy this lovely thing at night. So I have decided to take up a contact sport so I can wear my mouth guard during waking hours. Football is the obvious choice, but that is too brutish for me. I might choose something less knocky – something like basketball. I know it isn’t considered a contact sport, but when I play it, the game changes. It’s not that I mean to slam into people. It just happens.
I also thought I might give bobsledding a go. With winter coming on, I can find a snowy hill within an hour’s drive from the city. The problem is finding someone to go with me.
A long-time pal unfriended me on Facebook yesterday because I have been too busy to watch Game of Thrones with him and drink beer. That is hilarious! It’s like reading the Yelp reviews for the national parks. “I give this only one star because the air is too thin when we go up high.” Just as Yosemite is responsible for its thin air, so too am I responsible that I have not scheduled a Game of Thrones beer fest. I will admit it is much easier to find blame with my apparent lack of friendship responsibilities. But bear in mind, this whine is coming from someone who doesn’t have a job and could spend all day making a Game of Thrones night happen. But no. It was my fault. To his credit, he thought about what he did and messaged me today wanting to come back. So yeah….he’s back. Until my next act of gross neglect.
I give up.
Seven more sleeps until I head out for the Netherlands!
Giving my brand new mouth guard a 6,000 mile journey