Captain’s Log 6,058
I got smacked down yesterday by another blogger about my belief that what we tolerate will continue in our lives. I truly believe that and here is why.
Breaking it down even further, it boils down to the choices we make every day. We choose ALL the time, and everything we choose has a ripple effect somewhere along the line. Even simple stuff.
What I wear to work today may or may not make an impression on someone coming to my office.
Choosing my major in college had an effect on the choices I made for my career as it unfolded.
Choosing to cast someone from the museum in one of my shows eventually led to my current job as the director.
Trusting my business partner back in Minnesota led to the end of my recording career and my life as a traveling musician.
Giving $2 to the homeless guy on the corner may have allowed him to purchase more booze or maybe a sandwich at the convenience store.
Choosing to marry someone without a good heart, ambition, or family values may end up badly.
Choosing to smoke may affect my health.
Choosing to have children may affect my lifestyle, my income, and a myriad of other things.
Not listening to my intuition when I am being followed by a stranger may lead to dire consequences.
Choosing to be singer and having a life on the road required that I give up a good income, family, owning a home, etc.
Choosing the pretty sandals over the sturdy ones may cause blisters.
What I am trying to say is this. The small choices we make every day have an enormous impact on our future. The larger decisions even more. If someone is being a shithead we choose to ignore, that is a choice we make in the moment. People who become monsters in our lives do not get that way overnight. 99% of the time, it’s a slow boil that we can choose to ignore or choose to end quickly. We cannot rely on anyone to make these choices for us.
There are always resources for help. Always. We just have to make the effort. There are police, lawyers, shelters (if need be). There are labor codes and state laws. There are politicians. There are neighbors and friends. And in some cases, there is vigilante justice.
I do NOT blame victims. I would never be so cruel and heartless. I do, however, encourage people to look at the role they played in creating the situation. Unless you get hit on the head by a falling telephone pole, chances are you made a decision that was part of the creation of the situation. I am not blaming anyone for making unfortunate choices. Heaven knows I have made enough of those to last me more than a lifetime. I DO examine my role in the situation, own it, and go forth to make the changes necessary. I have walked off jobs where I have been disrespected. I have booked tickets to New Zealand when I only had $1,000 in the bank. I have been so broke that one Subway sandwich had to last three days. I have gotten out of the car and walked home when a man raised his hand to me. I have closed the door on people who hurt me. I have made smart choices and incredibly stupid ones. I have made decisions that put my life in danger. But the fact is…..I played a role, and I must admit that. However wrong or right, I helped create the situations.
Admitting that we helped create situations gives us the power to change them. We had the power to help create them, and we have the power to transform. We have the power.