Cheapest Skate

Captain’s Log   5,969

I heard a big boom as I was leaving work yesterday.  I opened the back door to discover one of my staffer bees putting a used toilet into the dumpster.  I was shocked.  He was embarrassed beyond belief.   Like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

What do you say when you find someone you assume to be highly intelligent and competent putting an old toilet in your dumpster?  I checked all the etiquette books and none of them have any advice at all.  I did what any self-respecting and wacky museum director would do.  I didn’t say anything at the moment.  But I did call the business manager to ask if it is legal to put toilets in the dumpster.  Turns out, it isn’t.  If we get caught with a toilet in our dumpster, we will be fined.  Big time.

So I think the plan of action will be to wait and see if they catch us disposing of a toilet.  If they do and decide to fine us, that charge will be assessed to the staffer bee who put the stupid toilet in the dumpster.

It’s always something.

I know this guy has off-loaded serious trash into our dumpster before.  I off-load trash every now and then too.  But it’s usually a few small items from my car.  I have never EVER put a toilet into our dumpster.  I have never put a toilet into any dumpster.  If I had an old toilet, I would either ask the plumber to take it away OR….I would arrange for the city trash haulers to pick it up.  It cannot cost more than a few bucks.  No way I could load it into my car and drive it 15 miles to a museum.  Then, wiggle it out of the car and hoist it as high as my neck to toss it into a dumpster.  Nope.

Earlier in the day, this staffer bee’s girlfriend came by and picked through ALL of our trash to find about a dollar’s worth of recycled cans.  I won’t tell you how much food she has whisked away from museum parties before any of us have a chance to take a few morsels home.  She once moved a jacket and my personal belongings to abscond with a container of veggie burgers – veggie burgers I had wrapped up to take home with me.  When I know she is around, I carefully hide any food I want to take home.  She found it and skeedaddled before I even realized it was gone.  When I ask about the food (or anything else), they both plead innocence and claim they didn’t know it was spoken for.  As if I randomly hide leftovers under my jacket?

In metaphysical terms, this is called scarcity mentality.  I do understand why she exhibits this.  She escaped from Cambodia as a young girl and still acts and reacts like she is living in the jungle.  I am not kidding.  She is extremely feral.  He, on the other hand, teaches at a local college and also works in a high-level position at the museum.  To see him dumping toilets when he thinks nobody is watching is actually quite disturbing.

Off to ponder all of this.  Hoping for a decent outcome and no hard feelings.


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

20 responses to “Cheapest Skate

  1. Jeez, I had a different reaction. A shrug. What would happen if you didn’t respond? Because, when you respond, you all of a sudden have to use your precious energy that could maybe be better utilized on other things? If you get a fine for the toilet, I would hand it to the gentleman, though.

  2. poundheadhere

    I won’t offer any sage advice. Or parsley, rosemary or thyme. I’ll just say I’ll be glad for your sake when you can walk away for good and let the next person handle it.

  3. Make him get in and pull it out. They can be recycled. No, you can’t charge him. One of G’s last bosses tried that and it was illegal. Perhaps he can take it home? LOL

  4. jane

    Better than a baby… sorry

  5. susanna

    So you can put a toilet by the curb and get it picked up for a fee? That’s good to know. There was a toilet down the street with a sign that said FREE.
    It sat there for a long time. Yuck!

  6. Patty O"

    I’m sorry it’s complicated because Staff Reduction would solve a variety of problems. What he did was WRONG, and if he’s willing to do that, what else might he be willing to do? HER I can at least understand, but what makes HIM feel so entitled?

  7. hahahahahahaaha. omg…the things people do. Amazing. remind me to tell you when i threw a frozen whole chicken in the dumpster and hit a homeless man on the head!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. funny story…but couldve been bad.

  8. Perhaps an addendum to any Work Procedure Manuals, in print or not ~ is in order. No unloading of large amounts of personal trash such as the toilet in the museum dumpster will be tolerated and no removal of food from events unless approved by you. I recall a man who worked in our very large office building always dumping his trash in the building dumpster on a regular basis… was quite annoying when the trash was spilled all over the parking lot too.

  9. The girl needs to be taught what her boyfriend should already know. Stealing is illegal where she is now, and you might call the police. Frankly, I would eliminate the staffer; there must be smarter, more efficient people who are looking for work.

    Then again, I have so little patience with stupidity.

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