No Back Porch to Speak Of…..

Captain’s Log   5,937

I just don’t get the Kardashians.  Do they have any real talent?  All I can find from my Google searches is that their lifestyle is supposed to be the new American dream.  Not sure I comprehend the complexity of that statement.  I read that Kim donates her clothes.  I donate my clothes too, but nobody makes a big deal out of me doing that.

Apparently, Kim has quite a back porch.  She can balance a champagne glass there.  I am not sure why that is amazing.  I can balance a spoon on my nose.  I can also carry a filled hummingbird feeder across the kitchen without spilling.  That should be worth something.  But as long as Kim’s my competition, I know the best I can even hope for is first runner up.  

booty booty

Notice that it’s not a champagne FLUTE!  Hell, anyone could hit a ROUND champagne glass!


Sorta cute but lacking that confident smile and ridiculous topknot….and the porch

Bearing all of this in mind, I am content to live my life in relative obscurity.  There is just no way I will ever measure up to the Kardashians.  In the scheme of moments that have threaded together to make my life, I am fine with that.  I know it’s just a teeny little bump in the road.  The next time Miley twerks or Justin is a jerk, the world will forget about a champagne glass balanced on someone’s ass.  We are such fickle creatures.  Miss Kim will also be forgotten someday.  Left in the dust of the next social climber with a morality bank account of zero.

Then again, I suppose a photo of Kim with her champagne might be buried in a time capsule somewhere.  Imagine what people will think when they dig it up 100 years from now.  Let’s hope they find it as lacking in meaning as I do now.  

Why did I write about her if I think she is so trite?  Because I am amazed at the impact she has for doing absolutely nothing.  It’s the whole balance thing.  Some people work hard and are never noticed.  Others are born into a rich family with a huge ass that can hold a glass of champagne…..and the world notices.  It’s just a “holy shit, that’s weird” reaction from me.  The way a lot of things are here in this journal.  Because it’s my journal.  And I can.

Time to stroll across the kitchen with hummingbird food now.  Something that really matters to me.


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

24 responses to “No Back Porch to Speak Of…..

  1. The only reality shows I watch are on HGTV or PBS. Can’t stand self-absorbed idiots. When you deal with them every day at work, why would you want to bring them into your home AFTER work?

  2. I think the almost nude shot of Kim K. inside the magazine is nearly as vulgar as the shot she took of herself in a yellow bikini thong bottom sitting on a log. Why? Then as a “gift” to her current husband, she made a book of “selfies” and has put it on sale. WHY?????????????
    If I had a butt even half the size of hers ! I wouldn’t be proud of it. She’s nearly nude with her cleavage hanging out or her butt and other nether regions on display all the time. That’s not talent!

  3. joanie

    Hilarious!!!! I don’t get it either. If you want to see something even more ridiculous, watch “True Tori” the reality tv show about Tori Spelling, who is famous for, let’s see, being Aaron Spelling’s offspring? She’a trainwreck. The girl spends every waking minute of her life in self-examination. It’s sickening, yet hilarious. I don’t know who’s more crazy…her, her stupid husband or her psychiatrist who she sees like, every day.

  4. Valerie

    Technically Kim is famous for a sex tape that entered the public domain; never saw it, of course, and perhaps she did nothing during the taping to bring her such celebrity but I doubt it! I laughed about your reference about your ability to balance a spoon on your nose. At my niece Allison’s wedding a few years ago the whole Brandes contigent was photographed with spoons on their noses, including my mom – not the most formal of families but certainly fun-loving! (Especially for a bunch of conservative Republicans.)

  5. Patty O'

    The only thing that whole clan is good at is garnering attention and making money off of it. They do not matter. I am far more impressed with your hummingbird feeder exploits. I can’t even carry bird SEED without spilling it!
    And champagne is for DRINKING, not stupid tricks. Finally, break the internet? HA! This morning poor Kim is not even trending…but Al Roker IS! That’s more like it!

  6. I find it a sad comment on the American mentality that people can create celebrities out of nothing and make them stars.

    As for the big back porch, I was reprimanded for mine throughout my childhood. It’s a good thing I listened to my mother instead of waiting for someone to discover me.

  7. There is nothing obscure about you at all. 🙂
    You are watching the wrong shows. Try NCIS or PBS. LOL

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