Back in With Sister Mary

Captain’s Log  5,932

So here I sit at the car dealership AGAIN!  This time, I have a huge bulge in my right front tire.  I know exactly when it happened.  I hit a massive pothole.  SMACK.  Bulge!  I could say something really sexual about smacking and bulges, but I think most of you have already gone there.  Potty minds.  Dangerspouse.

And so it goes.  The tires were due for a change in another 4 months, so it only makes sense to replace them and do all the fussing today.  The brakes were supposed to be done in December, so I authorized that too.  Anneke is coming in January and I want the car to be safe.  I have guests coming from Minnesota in early February too.  And then Penny later in February.  Precious cargo that requires the safest car possible.

This  is a short work week for me.  I leave for the largest automotive trade show in the world on Wednesday morning.  It’s in Vegas.  It’s almost impossible to get into this show unless you are in the industry.  I wheedled my way in using a connection because one of the museum docents really wants to go.  He is buying my airfare, meals, and hotel in exchange for the favor of tagging along.  We are supposed to be there on Tuesday for credentials and stuff, but I arranged for someone to “fix” that so we can arrive on Wednesday.  I feel a bit like a Mafia boss on this one.  Maybe I can arrange this every year and spend three days in Vegas.

Big Sister Mia will be in Vegas at the same time, but her agenda is definitely NOT this big car show.  I might see her…..and I might not.  I want to make sure my docent pal gets to do everything he wants to do and sees everything he wants to see.  If I get a block of time, Mia and I might have a chance to connect.  It’s not like I never see her!  

This automotive trader show is filled with scantily-clad models who lean on cars and slide around like vixens.  Sex has always sold cars.  I find it quite offensive, but I know it’s the way of the world.  I will be dressed an “non-vixenish” as possible.  I have never been a vixen.  I never want to be a vixen.  I would rather control the forest where all the vixens and other creatures live.

So I will settle in to wait for Sister Mary Zoom Zoom.  I still have 90 minutes to go.  I started reading the famous Outlander series, and I am quite impressed.  I assumed it was a series of books about bodice-ripping thugs in kilts, and I was not sure I wanted to waste my time.  To some extent, there are references to bodice ripping and such, but it’s also filled with history and intrigue.  At least I am not embarrassed to be seen reading it.  When I agreed to read the first Twilight book, I made sure nobody saw me.  What a piece of shit.  The book, not me.

The coffee is hot and free.  The car held together before anyone was injured.  I have a banana in a bag and a really good book.  My socks are clean and my haircut is fresh.  Life is good.


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

20 responses to “Back in With Sister Mary

  1. Joanie B

    Enjoy Sema!

  2. Patty O'

    I don’t care much for either car shows or Las Vegas but I LOVE that your happiness default turns to clean socks and a fresh haircut. we are simple souls. I also LOVE your exchanges with Dangerspouse. Somewhere in the Ether you two or either soul mates or squabbling siblings. Ack!

  3. Hope you find a slot machine with a car theme to play…You would probably win big! Have a grand time.

  4. We finished our bananas. The show sounds like tons of fun. Please take tons of pictures. No maybe about that…. lol

  5. Oh, oh, sure. You use the word bulge and immediately think of me, and I’M the one with the potty mind? J’accuse! (You could at least have mentioned me again after “banana in a bag”, just to ice the compliment.) Enjoy the car show, and glad your “bulge” is fixed. *cough* *cough*. Oh — and did you read my own car saga I just posted? You’ll be surprised to know there is NO SEXXXUAL INNUENDO AT ALL in it. So there. Stereotype debunked. Enjoy the car show, Mafia moll 🙂

  6. Penny Tushingham

    Hey,you should wear your Stumpunk hat in Vegas. I bet you get more looks than the models.

    Pen Pen

  7. Sounds good. I am always suspicious of events that begin on Election Day, as if it weren’t necessary. Of course, I am aware that in Nevada you don’t have to vote on Election Day. Voting is not much different from a one-armed bandit.

    Ooh, did I just say something deeper than I intended? In any case, I hope you and the docent have a really great time.

  8. bholles

    I am sure you will fun in Vegas even if you dont see me.

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