Hugest Shit Storm of All

Captain’s Log   5,923

I went back to work and entered one of the biggest shit storms ever.  It was truly disappointing.  I am angry and very sad.  I cannot go into details, but it was one of the worst.  Every time I go away, things are in a mess when I return.  It’s enough to make me not want to leave because I can at least monitor the ill tides when I am physically present.  But that is SO not fair to me.  I got stupid emails and texts while I was on vacation.  Every time my phone buzzed I got an anxious knot in my stomach.

But I have to leave.  I did some soul searching last night and have reached the decision that I must make an exit plan for that place.  It is just too much for me to handle.  I hope to meet with the board president on Monday to develop a timeline for my departure.  Enough is enough.  The average life span of this job is 3-4 years.  I have been there 5.5 as the director and 4 years before that I worked as the events/marketing/assistant director.   There are projects I would like to finish, but if push comes to shove, I can leave in a week.  I can leave in a day.  I have no problem walking away.  I am fed up.  I am tired.  A job should have some element of fun.  This one has become an albatross.



To ease my worried soul, I went to a tech rehearsal to watch Friend Sally’s perform the role of Lenny in Crimes of the Heart.  Tech rehearsals are punctuated with stops and false starts because the tech people are fine tuning their cues, etc.   As a director, I think they are fun to watch.

Imagine my surprise when watching the pantyhose scene right at the beginning of the show.  An quite ample actor is supposed to wiggle into a pair of pantyhose that are obviously too small.  I personally think ALL pantyhose are too small, but I digress.

Anyway….she wiggled into the pantyhose with lots of jumping and gyrating (using her dress as a shield the same way guys use towels when they wiggle out of their wetsuits at the beach).  Then, she sat down on a chair facing the audience and set her feet wide apart on the floor.  She then proceeded to pick up the edge of her dress and use it to fan her legs.  She picked it WAY up.  

Lo and behold, she was not wearing underpants or dance pants…..just the pantyhose.  I was sitting second row center and was subjected to full-on twattage!  I could hear one of the stage managers in the back yelling NO NO NO, but she didn’t pay the stage manager any mind.  She just continued to let it all blow in the breeze.

Yes, there were men sitting in the audience.  There were men at the tech table.  All of us saw the twat show.  For me, I would have DIED to find out I had just fully exposed myself to a room of about 15 people.  Somebody obviously told her and she seemed to take it in stride.  I would have probably put a large brown paper bag over my head.

So, you just never know when you are going to see something like that.  Could be anywhere, anytime, with anyone.  The stars were certainly lined up in a curious way for those of us in that theatre last night.



Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

29 responses to “Hugest Shit Storm of All

  1. I remember working at the living history museum. As much as I loved it, I worked with knuckle-headed wanker grabbers who wanted to make a name for themselves (at the beheast of the non-profit), eventually driving it into the ground. I miss it some days. Perhaps it was being outside… able to move about… etc. But, I certainly don’t miss the stupid questions.

    I am stressed out w/ my job now. I’ve been doing this for 6-going-on-7 years and it seems to be spiraling into the abyss… and with it, my happiness.

    I wish I could make it more funner… for you. I think we would’ve made great work-mates. 🙂

  2. Wow. Where to start.

    Congratulations on your decision to exit the Shitstorm Factory. You’ve kept the worst of things at bay for long enough. Let some asshole come in and undo it all. No, I’m not suggesting you stay (far from it!) but we all know that’s exactly what’s going to happen. My point is, that will be the case whether you leave tomorrow or ten years from tomorrow. When you leave, don’t look back. I’m not saying you’ll turn into a pillar of salt, but…

    As for the dress rehearsal’s state of undress, maybe the woman had delusions of Sharon Stone. It clearly didn’t bother her, no matter how horrified her director was. I’ve discovered some people are incapable of feeling shame, remorse, or any of the normal gamut of emotions the rest of the world experiences.

  3. farmgirl

    Am sorry you came back from a wonderful trip to that. Seems to me you have had to wear hip waders to work for awhile now to deal with all the crap. No one should have to do that. Ever. And then it went from bad to worse!! Only you Paula!! So you walk in on a man peeing one day and then you come back and get to see from here to yonder on some oblivious woman…hahahahaha!! Oh gosh! (wipes away tears). One does have to wonder what the universe is trying to tell you! You do live an eventful life!! We are all behind you! Good luck! And don’t look back!!

  4. Valerie

    So sorry that these things are continually happening to you at work! It’ time.

  5. The Knitting Cinephile

    Did the director leave the vag flash in the show? it might sell tickets …

  6. Penny Tushingham

    All good things must come to an end and it’s time for this adventure to end and for you to start a new one.

  7. I’m sorry the Shit storm got on your last nerve but I am glad that you are now putting yourself first. It’s not good to have a fun and enjoyable vacation and then come back to Hell on Earth again. You only have one life and it’s time to make it about you.
    I can’t imagine the rehearsal situation. When I wore pantyhose I always had on underwear because I wanted to wear panty hose more than one day at a time. OMG……

  8. I am sorry about this, but it does seem the right decision. I miss working for the Padres, but I sure don’t miss the shit. You can do a lot of wonderful things if you are not up to your ears in do do. Hugs and love.

  9. Patty O'

    I am hiccup-laughing. I LOVE the juxtapositioning. It’s as if the absurdity of the Shittage was contrasted and amplified by the absurdity of the Twattage. Take your time to be sure your departure will be to YOUR advantage. What is the status of the Parts Symphony planning, for example? And the Centennial celebration. SO much to consider but always with YOU at the top of the pyramid, my friend.

  10. maryz

    What fun for the two events to coincide!
    Re your work situation – it’s been my experience that the stress comes before the decision. And after a decision is made, it’s like the weight of the world is lifted off your shoulders. I hope that’s the way it is for you. Hugs, friend!

  11. So sorry to hear about more shit at your work-place. I hope you do find it in you to leave, as you deserve more pleasure and less grief for the amount of commitment you put in. I also love the albatross pic – I have the book it comes, from, can never remember if the illustrations are by Dore or Duhrer, but it made a regular appearance in my teaching, back in the day. xxxx

  12. I’ve gotta remember that towel trick next time I’m at the beach. Probably save me from a lot of future lawsuits.

    I’ve also gotta attend more dress rehearsals….

  13. It must be a mind set — one I don’t have. I nearly grabbed the sheet when they were measuring me for radiation, because the tech was male.

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