Raw Pepita Moth Things That Fly in Your Face

Captain’s Log   5,893

I was so looking forward to making a juice today with pineapple and raw pepitas (pumpkin seeds).  As I lounged in bed thinking about getting up, I could almost taste what I was about to throw into the Nutri Bullet.  

I cut up some fresh pineapple, added vanilla Greek yogurt, some orange juice…..

And then, I reached for these……

raw pepitas

A breeding ground for little moth things that fly in your face

Nasty little moth things went everywhere!  The bag was alive with crawling and sputtering moth things!  Granted, I had these for several months, but I assumed the seeds would be pest-free.  Guess I was wrong.

It makes you wonder just how many larvae we actually eat.  I am going to hit Google.  Back with the bad news.  Hang on just a second….

The closest thing I could find on the list is corn meal.  Read this.

 In 100 grams of corn meal—that’s roughly the amount required by your average corn bread recipe—the FDA says it’s OK to have two or more “whole insects,” 100 or more insect fragments, and either 4 rodent hairs or 2 or more chunks of rodent poop

How about cranberry sauce?

The FDA says it’s OK if 15 percent of a can of cranberry sauce is moldy.

Tomato paste/sauce products?

Tomato paste, pizza sauce or other sauces can include 30 or more fly eggs per 100 grams. Alternatively, you can have 15 or more fly eggs and one or more maggots, OR two or more maggots, but not all of the above. 

I’m glad to see they really put some parameters around the whole tomato paste/sauce thing.  Gotta really limit those maggots.  If you don’t, then everyone will want to put two or more maggots in everything.  Hats off to the FDA for keeping the tomato paste/sauce guys in line.

The whole cranberry thing baffles me too.  How does one measure the moldiness of cranberry sauce, and how do you know it’s 15%.  They are scientists and a lot smarter than me, but hey.  I want to know where the 85% of the unmoldy cranberries are so I can eat them.  Last I checked, once something begins to mold, the whole thing is ruined (except for hard cheeses).  

A long time ago, a friend (who was really drunk at the time) made me an sour cream omelette.  It looked great, but the sour cream had gone moldy.  Apparently, she just scraped off the blue/green hairy stuff and still used what looked okay.  I bit into the omelette and it tasted like I was licking an old basement wall.  Now, granted, I have not licked a huge number of basement walls in my life, but I can imagine.  I haven’t walked across the Grand Canyon on the tightrop either, but I can imagine.  So I am suggesting to the FDA they allow 0% mold in sour cream.  I’m sure mold is somehow involved in making it sour in the first place, but I prefer not to know shit like that.

There was nothing said about fresh cranberries, but we cook those ourselves.  Hopefully, we wash them before we cook them.  And then we boil the shit out of them on the stove, so larvae, rodent hairs, and poop chunks don’t stand a chance.  No more canned cranberries at Thanksgiving.  Only lazy shits use that stuff anyway so I guess it doesn’t matter.  If you are lazy enough to use canned cranberries, you can risk the mold factor.  Open two cans and you might actually die.

So when someone gives me crap about the FIVE SECOND RULE about eating stuff I dropped on the floor, I am going to tell them about the rodent poop chunks allowed in corn meal.  Now, if I drop a corn muffin on the floor, I might actually die if I eat it.  Floor germs AND rodent poop chunks.  It’s highly unlikely anyone could survive both.

On a side note, I don’t think I will ever eat spaghetti again.  I’m sure the sauce has maggots and the pasta is bound to have hairs and rodent poop.  

And all I wanted was a nice juice drink to enjoy while I sat down to write this.  Was that too much to ask?

I said “shit” at least three times in this entry. I must be experiencing anger issues this morning.


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

26 responses to “Raw Pepita Moth Things That Fly in Your Face

  1. What a great essay. Wonderful stuff. Youse are a winner. Did you check out rodent dropping percentages in flour. G has taken to making bread.

  2. poundheadhere

    Well think about it this way. I bet all the insects are a lot better for you than the GMO food and insecticides. We’re told that insects are an excellent source of protein and in large supply. I can’t diminish the ick factor, but between the bugs and the chemicals I’ll take bugs ANY time.

  3. Just when I was going to make myself some lunch…..O.M.G.!

  4. goatbarnwitch

    And the FDA wants us cheesemakers to stop aging cheese on wooden boards?! UGH!!

  5. susanna

    I feel like a moth drawn to the flame of disgusting but savvy and (funny, thank God) information today. You really should be getting paid for this level of writing. The replies were educational too. I just bought a jar of coconut curry sauce. I’m thinking rare Indian and Indonesian crawly things. Thanks a lot.

  6. Patty O'

    You are all hilarious. Yes, I think we have all swallowed a bug while standing around with our mouths open or while laughing. And we actually INHALE far worse because of the “particulates” in the air be breathe. I love the word “particulates”. It means “shit we should not breathe, ever”. I am conflicted on maggots. I don’t want to see them or eat them, but if I ever have a wound that will not heal I hope there is a jar of them around and a savvy doctor, because maggots are our FRIENDS in those circumstances. The little dears nestle down IN the wound and carefully devour ONLY the necrotic tissues that form in the margins of such wounds and inhibit actual healing. When their job is done they are collected leaving a CLEAN and HEALING wound and no dead tissue. Isn’t that sweet of them? But I’m sorry about the lost pepitas…and the lost appetite.

    • poolagirl

      I will be sure to carry a jar of maggots for you if we get stranded on a desert island.

    • joanie

      Hi Patti, I didn’t think I could feel any worse about maggots than I did a couple of minutes ago until I just read about them nestling down into wounds eating ONLY the necrotic tissues around the wound just before they end up in our pepitas. LOL

  7. joanie

    I was hungry before I read this. Also, I just ate a whole package of those pepitas in the last few days! I want to throw up but it’s too late. Years ago I happened to read about how many rodent hairs were ALLOWED in canned chile and I’ve never been able to eat it again. Now I find out this is probably true of MOST processed foods, which is why I’m trying my hardest to get away from all that but it’s not easy. You have to wonder how all those moths knew how tasty those pepitas are…word of moth? Oh, and count me out on the corn muffins.

  8. If I remember properly from microbiology classes, yogurt, buttermilk, and sour cream are produced using bacteria, not mold. I am allergic to penicillin (which comes from mold), and I am mighty careful about eating anything that might be moldy — like blue cheese.

  9. Penny Tushingham

    Darn, I so enjoyed your veggie spaghetti when I come to visit. Guess you’ll have to stick to veggie burgers!

    Pen Pen

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