Do These Things When You Are Alone

Captain’s Log   5,884

Yesterday was one of these.  It was lovely.


Even running out of half-and-half was not enough to move me out of the house.

I read a fascinating book by Bill Bryson.  Learned a lot about the times of the mysterious bard.  There isn’t a whole lot known about Mr. Bill.


Very witty.  But that’s Bryson for you.  

I like Bill Bryson.  He’s from Iowa.  That’s one reason to like him right there.  Then, factor in his brilliant mind and you’ve got a good thing going.  This is one of my favorite books.

walk in the woods

Great stories about “cheating” on the trail (getting off and hitchhiking to a point 20-30 miles down the road).  He also wrote about some wacky nut cases out there with agendas beyond belief.  Hilarious!  I was falling off my chair.

I actually did fall off my chair last year.  I didn’t sit down correctly in the chair part (I guess that’s called the seat).  I was too close to the edge and the chair just wheeled itself right out from under me.  Thank goodness I was alone at the time.

Here is a list of other things that should happen when you are alone.

Falling UP the steps

Reading your Google Maps upside down

Putting dishwashing liquid in the washing machine because you have run out of soap (about as bad as using shampoo)

Putting shampoo in the Jacuzzi tub for any reason whatsoever

Using dishwashing liquid on your hair (especially Dawn)

Chasing crickets with a plastic cup at 2:00 in the morning

Farting (unless it’s a sleep fart and those around you think that’s cute)

Singing opera in the car

Drinking juice out of the bottle

I have an incredibly busy week ahead of me.  Six days at the museum (but who’s counting?)  Tick that time away one minute at a time, sweet Jesus.


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

18 responses to “Do These Things When You Are Alone

  1. poundheadhere

    Pajama days are awesome!

    I’ve washed clothes with dish soap because I was out of detergent, and used detergent to wash dishes because I was out of dish soap. It’s all relative.

  2. I once accidentally put dishwashing soap into the dishwasher…My, my the throw rugs got clean!!!!!!

  3. Valerie

    We have stay in your pj’s days too – but we call them “Cat Days” and literally lay around all day catching up on reading, etc. Hmmm…we’re due for a Cat Day now that I think about it!

  4. joanie

    Fell up the stairs once and almost broke my ring finger. It hurt for months.

  5. Patty O'

    Add to list:
    Forgetting to remove your thumb from the freezer door before slamming the refrigerator
    Tripping on a bit of lint when walking across the living room
    Answering the door before combing out the curls
    Laughing so hard you snort

  6. maryz

    When I was a teenager, I washed my hair with dishwashing liquid all the time. It’s great for teenage skin problems. Not so much at my age now.

  7. What’s wrong with singing opera or anything else in the car? I used to do it all the time when I didn’t have a car with a radio. (And singing softly usually quieted the kids: “Shh, she’s singing.”

  8. We hope your museum is cool and comfortable all week for you. We pray for a beautiful Saturday for you. We will bring a caprese salad. You can have that.

  9. Penny Tushingham

    Glad you had such a wonderful “Paula Day” yesterday. Sounds like you will need it with the week you have in front of you!

    Pen Pen

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