Ass-Ended Master

Captain’s Log   5,849

With my tendency to trip easily, it might be more appropriate to call me an ass-ended master.

I find that hilarious.  For the moment.  Other terms are:

fall down go boom

go ass over teacups

faceplant

adopt a tree

My challenge, so leave me to it.

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Sometimes, I am challenged by what other people put on Facebook.  So I am going to put it here in the hopes that there will be some sort of therapeutic reward.  

I present to you…..the spoon worm…..fat inkeeper worm….penis fish.

I have no words………  except I am very glad I don’t live in the Amazon basin

According to what I read on the internet (so it must be true), when these fish are teeny little guys and gals, they are so small they can enter your private bits (boy or girl bits – this fish isn’t picky).  Once inside, the fish start to grow.  The only way to deal with it is to have surgery.  

And you thought swallowing spiders in your sleep was bad!  You could have a penis fish invade your bits!  For some reason, I think it would be worse if you had a penis fish….in your penis.

When I was a child, I used to dream about clowns that swallowed fire out of soup bowls in a circus tent.  They would chase me like white-faced dragons and set my hair albaze.  I was also completely terrified of the flying monkeys.  I think the penis fish might have created the perfect trifecta of horror.

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No need for drugs when you are an ass-ended master.