Why Do You Cut Your Ham?

Captain’s Log   5,846

I am going to buy this shirt so people stop getting into it with me and I have to pull out my intellectual hammer and bang them over the head.  I think if they saw this they might back off.  Kinda like the way people back off when they see signs indicating the property is patrolled by a Doberman.


I have the most trouble with people who purport to be Christian but they have no idea WHY they are Christian.  To me, religion should be a choice.  When we become adults, I think it’s important to choose our spiritual paths.  

This reminds me of the story about the woman who cut the end of the ham off before she put it in the pan to bake.  Every single time.  When someone asked her why, she really didn’t know except to say that her grandma always did it and so did her mom.  So there she was at age 50 cutting off the end of her ham.  She never questioned why.

As the story goes, grandma cut the end off her ham because her hams were always too big to fit in the pan.   There was a good reason behind it.  As years went by, her daughter caught on to the ham whacking idea and just did it.  And so did her daughter.  And probably all the ham bakers in that family did it too.

That’s my point.  Look how much ham was wasted because people were just following the code – the rules – the action that was done years ago with good reason.  And look at how that reason means nothing anymore because people don’t stop to think about what they were doing.

I love to think.  It’s okay to think about religion too.  It’s important for people to know why they are engaged in a belief system.  When I question some of my die-hard Christian friends about this, they really don’t know.  They just tell me it’s the right thing.  They have never questioned their beliefs or studied their doctrines…..they just do it.  They cut off the end of the ham.

I don’t eat ham.  I don’t kill pigs.  I don’t eat anything with a mother, face, or asshole.  But yet, this is my journal and I feel completely within my rights to use a meat analogy to explain God.


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

14 responses to “Why Do You Cut Your Ham?

  1. poundheadhere

    I agree with you – it helps to have some idea of why you believe what you believe. It’s the antithesis of Christianity, where the expectation is that you have “faith” without really thinking about it.

  2. It’s a good thing you are cute and charming while being seriously hammy.

  3. Ter

    As soon as I read the title, it made me think of this video:

    And as I read, it *really* reminded me of the video! Ham butt aside, I think you’ll like it anyway (plus, Erin McKean is just adorable!)

  4. I never heard the story about ham; in our family, it was about roast beef. (Personally, I bought a larger pan…) The fact remains that it is important to ask questions. The world changes, and sometimes it affects the reason for things.
    Orthodox Jewish housewives used to put a stone on the stove till it was red hot, and then put it in the sink with water to make it Kosher (clean) for Passover. My mother was clever enough to figure out that, with a good hot water heater, you didn’t need a stone. Modern instructions suggest using an electric kettle.
    The only thing I don’t understand about this is why some people resent one’s asking questions.

  5. Patty O'

    Think of all the split pea soup that was never made!

  6. It takes all kinds to make up the world….I like that!….except for the bad people…

  7. bholles

    I think I eat your share of ham.

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