Losing Another Old Pal

Captain’s Log   5,843

Mom Bird has finally left the nesting area.  I must say I am glad about that.  It was so awful to listen to her crying for her babies.  It was heart-wrenching.  I am buying some nesting boxes in case she wants to try it again.  The nest needs to be out of harm’s way.  Nesting in a fern is not a good idea.

An old friend is dying.  I just got the word over the weekend.  I am on her advanced healthcare directive as the one who will pull the plug if needed.  When she picked me (years ago), she said I was the only one she knew with enough guts to go through with it.  I hope I don’t have to go through with it.  I am meeting with some spiritual people and her family tomorrow.  I think the time is close.  We shall see.  This is the weirdest feeling in the world.  I want to bury my head in the sand and pretend it isn’t happening.

It’s Freak Tuesday at the museum too.  Nothing like 1,500 unwashed Mongol hordes to take your mind off your troubles for awhile.  But now I get to be alone with my thoughts and wonder if I am ready for this.  

16 Comments

Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

16 responses to “Losing Another Old Pal

  1. *Hugs* Some promises are harder to keep than others. I hope when the time comes you can make the call in peace.

  2. I hope knowing you are doing what she asked helps. I’ve told my mother it was OK to go and she passed about 12 hours later. Dean and I had some conversations and I told him when it was time he should do what he needed to do….don’t know if that made the difference but he went a couple of days later after told told the Hospice nurse and me that “he didn’t want to do this anymore”.

  3. Valerie

    Oh, Paula, what a testament to the kind of person and friend you are – but what a HUGE responsibility you’ve been given! You’ll do what is required, of course, and may keeping your promise give you some peace.

  4. You can. I send you gigante hugs. Love too.

    Me. I’m going to get buried on the government’s dime. I won’t care. G too.

  5. You will do what needs to be done; we all know that. May you find the inner peace to accompany it.

  6. Patty O'

    Your reply to Maryz is correct; you gave your word. That is what she is depending upon. The good part is that you have no decisions to make, only promises to keep, and you can do that. I, alas, have performed that service three times. It is unbearably sad but also strengthening to know that you are so trusted to keep faith with her wishes. Hang in there; you can do it and it will gift you with peace.

  7. annanotbob

    Mega hugs from me to you with love xxx

  8. maryz

    I know you can, and will, do whatever is necessary. Lots of hugs needed, though.

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