Hero Pants

Captain’s Log   5,838

The fires are all under control.  They think most of them are the result of arson.  The fires were driving distance apart, all started behind buildings away from view, and all on the same day.  Very disturbing.  They found one person dead in a homeless encampment.  How sad.  On so many levels.  I don’t even know where to start.  I cannot imagine someone doing this on purpose.  I don’t understand evil.

Was it sick or evil?  The older I get, the less likely I am to buy into the “sick” excuses anymore.  I think some people are just evil.  I don’t know what we do with evil people, but I think they are out there.  Is it self-created or situational?  Hard to say.  The result is evil.

I have known evil people.  I am dealing with an evil person right now, and it challenges me to the core.  It’s challenging for me to feel safe and connected to my power.  I struggle.  This person knows exactly how to fuck with my sense of decency, and that’s where I find myself lost.  Lost and tired of it all.  It’s been more than five years now.  At least 100 altercations.  100 too many.

I feel like the young Marine in the film Tribes.  They did everything they could to break his spirit.  And he held true to himself.


Jan Michael Vincent as the young Marine who will not conform

Time to pull up my hero pants and be even stronger than I know I can be.


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

12 responses to “Hero Pants

  1. Remember that toy back in the day….no matter how hard you punched it, it popped back up? Think of yourself as that toy and keep on coming back up. The evil one is trying to break your spirit…..don’t let “em see you sweat!”

  2. poundheadhere

    I know Joe has great ideas. Sadly, there are always those who reject everything good and decent. Shine the light on them and they revel finding new depths of cruelty and depravity. Some you can only do your best to ignore. Some you have to battle, for yourself and others. Hang in there, Poolie, only a little longer

  3. Courage and compassion, Paula — you can do it.

  4. well, that person has met his/her match in you… and therein lies the challenge.. for them and for you, right? my money’s on you.

  5. I keep going back to what my mother used to say, when asked her opinion about the death sentence: “There are some people who are just too evil to live.” I’m inclined to believe she was right. To those who are not evil, it makes no sense; it is beyond our ability to understand. We can comprehend stupidity, or illness, or fear, or even a lust for power. Evil is entirely different.

  6. joe

    Pour Love Peace Joy And Happiness Into That person I Know That Will Engage A Lifelong change In You Forget them They Are On a Different Journey
    Their Journey Is To Remind Us Of whom We really Are
    Loving Joyful Full Of Service People That Bring Peace And Understanding To All
    Edison Said It took 1000 tries To Bring Light
    You Bring LIGHT to All Everyday
    I Thank You For Your Wisdom Understanding Of Life And Patience

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