Using My Body to Light the Signal Fire

Captain’s Log   5,832

I went out on a limb yesterday and asked my staff for some loyalty at this difficult time, and what I got back was a complete and total surprise.  I got a boatload of complaints instead of any support.   It was certainly disillusioning to say the least.  Every time I try to open up dialogue, I get slammed about everything I am doing wrong.  Nothing right, apparently.  I was shocked.  And it always seems to come from those who feel most entitled.  Naturally.  Is it normal for people to be so ungrateful?  The freedom I give them, the yearly raises, the constant positive feedback and appreciation………  All for naught, apparently.  I am totally dismayed.  My management style is to welcome disagreements in a safe place.  What happened yesterday is confirmation that if we were left to survive on a desert island, I would be the first one killed and used as fuel for the signal fire.

This incident has definitely pushed me even closer to the crossroads of change.  

And then I finally contacted Amazon to find out the whereabouts of my missing stuff.  I got half the order and was waiting for the rest.  My tracking investigation got it as close as San Bernadino on May 2nd.  My stuff should be here by now.  Guess what?  San Bernadino lost it.  All my running to the front door looking for my stuff was….futile.  Amazon is issuing a full refund.  They are even issuing a refund for the book I bought that DID arrive on Monday.  Nice of them.  At least Amazon respects me and won’t string me up by my thumbs for trying to do the right thing.

So I guess I will have to go out and buy that gorgeous iPhone case from someone else.  And the connecting cables so I can charge it in my car.  And the adapter pins so I can play Pandora on my speaker system.  


I will find you!  Somewhere!  Oh, iPhone case of my dreams!

Yes. I feel defeated right now.  Event the idea of a nifty phone case cannot ease my disappointment.  It’s hard to walk through the day and pretend you have oily duck feathers. That nothing will hurt you.  It will all roll off.  Bullshit.



Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

29 responses to “Using My Body to Light the Signal Fire

  1. I’m sorry. I’m sorrier for the clueless who will not figure out until it’s too late how fortunate they are now.

  2. I find that most people who give their blood sweat and tears leading a nonprofit are the ones that get crucified every single time. Hugs my friend!

  3. Paula, you’re awesome, smart and creative, and everyone knows it. And I’m sorry you’re going through this, dear friend. You have a symphony to look forward to (and get the credit for, too).

  4. Joan Minczeski

    I am so sorry you have to go through this. Wish I could be there to give you a hug in person. Have courage — and much love to you

  5. Valerie

    Well that just sucks. Absolutely disappointing for you. I do agree with Patty O’ above – something is going on that is not apparent…be interesting if you can figure out what actually happened there. From your previous posts it sounds to me like you’re a terrific boss and I can’t imagine that your people don’t realize it. Maybe another meeting is called for where you voice your surprise and disappointment and the fact that you felt blindsided – you thought they were professional enough to approach you with issues and concerns, blah, blah, blah. Call them out on it and see where the chips fall.

  6. Penny Tushingham

    Walk, leave them in a lurch. There are so many people today that feel so entitled and they are SO VERY WRONG. I have less and less patience for the whiners. Yes, we all have challenges in our lives but we all should never forget the blessings we have ….like having Paula as a special friend for so many years. It’s those friendships that are important! They can’t be bought in a store, can’t be given to you. You must earn them and I cherish those I have earned so much more every day. PS. Did you iphone break that you are working on replacing everything?

    Pen Pen

  7. I can’t imagine people being so callous. I worked for a lot of bosses over the years — experience, y’know — and I would love to work with a boss like you. I think you should give ’em what they deserve — life without you. Take all the vacation time you can and then, at the end of it, leave ’em in the lurch forever!

  8. Patty O'

    Somewhere along the line you have evidently missed some signals. Or are they that scared? And if so, about what? I have been there and it requires a lot of deep breathing and a step back to scan and see just what is going on. Is there a mole on the team somewhere? You may have to rethink, but DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELF! You know your own motives and capabilities. Now is the time to depend upon them! If ANYBODY can prevail it will be YOU!

  9. disappointed for you… I know first-hand how generous and supportive you are. You know what they say thought, “Much wants more”… some people never appreciate what they have

  10. You are so right…..those who feel so entitled are never satisfied. I guess you know which ones you can count on…..What a shock the entitled ones will have when there is someone else in charge. I guess you shouldn’t try out for Survivor either because you would be voted off the island in no time. Sorry….

  11. bholles

    I am shocked beyond words. Cant wait to hear.

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