One Step Closer to Opening Night

Captain’s Log   5,698

Rehearsal was a lot better for everybody but the ONE who thinks he is a loaf of sliced bread and more.  He assured Miss Sally that he had it in the bag.  That he knew it frontwards and backwards.  He doesn’t talk to me.  I don’t want to talk to him.  I am too angry to talk to him.  He has known Sally for a few years now and feels more comfortable with her.  Good.  I don’t want to do it.  I think I intimidate him.  Good.  He deserves to be intimidated.

He told Miss Sally that he actually read the entire script yesterday.  For the first time.  WHAT?????  He has had that script since August 24th and this is the first time he actually read the damn thing?????  Granted, he only has lines in the first scene, but he appears constantly as a portrait on the wall in the remaining three scenes.  He is on that stage the entire time.  He has more stage time than any other actor in the show, and he just NOW read the script?  I am beyond noodle-brained over this.  He also showered Miss Sally will all sorts of false praise, telling her how brilliant the writing is yadda yadda yadda.  If the writing is so fookin’ brilliant, why doesn’t he learn it?  Show a little respect for the playwrights?

Other cast members told me they are having nightmares about this guy.  His stage failure is having a huge effect on everyone.  It’s hard to manage their stress over him too.  GAAAAAA!

So he got up there and immediately flubbed up his lines.  I was so damn mad I grabbed my sunglasses off my head and threw them across the table.  I think I said “fuck.”  I know I said something.  How many times has he done this?  And will he do it during the show?  You bet your sweet bippy he will.

After rehearsal, we all sat down and talked about our experience with the evening.  It’s like a feeling circle (GOD I HATE USING THAT TERM).  People get to express their concerns, questions, etc.  It helps clear the air so we can streamline the process a little more.  He took that opportunity last night to “confess” his shortcomings and try to explain why his mind goes blank.  Fat chance.  I knew it was a feeble grab for sympathy, but some of the actors actually felt sorry for him.  Hogwash and bah bah bah!  He was manipulating those people into feeling sorry for him.  I saw it clear as day.  Too bad he couldn’t hustle up a few tears to put on a better show.  

The former director where I work tried that once.  He screwed something up big time (by not inviting the staff to the 20th anniversary party unless we all coughed up $200 a ticket).  After he got smacked down by the board, he brought us all together and started crying about what a sad mistake he had made.  Yadda yadda yadda.  I didn’t fall for that crap either.  And none of us went to the goddam party.  We went to Bucca di Beppo instead and had our own fun.


Bucca di Beppo.  Gaudy as hell and more fun than you can imagine.

I just have to get over my angst here and realize this guy is a total flop up there.  So be it.  I cannot work miracles for people who don’t think they need them.  Period.  End.

Speaking of miracles……..

This is a photo of the beginning of the Salvation Army Toy Run that happened while I was in Canada.  Miss Kelly is leading the “pack” and following right behind are Amy and me.  Amy is driving the bike and I am waving like some queen.  With my super long legs all scrunched up on the tiny little passenger seat, it was quite a ride.  90 minutes like that.  Holy mommacita!  But it was a lot of fun!  I got to see horses and cows and even a llama or two as we sailed through the countryside.  Got to smell them too.  Everyone had fun.  I think there were about 150 bikers or so.  Nice people.   Guys love to pose and try to look nonchalant.  I wonder how many of those guys were dentists and lawyers and stuff.  Really quite grand.  All big-hearted folks who set out on a cold and cloudy day to raise money for needy kids.  Gotta love it.

poolie waves

My foot is on the peg properly here, so I wonder where in the hell I burned up Amy’s boot.

london 7

Let us not forget the boot.

Good thing I wasn’t wearing sneakers, eh?  Said that just like a Canadian there, eh?  


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

19 responses to “One Step Closer to Opening Night

  1. I’m sorry you’re still dealing with the asshole. I wish you could do a rewrite that talks right around him AND points out what a colossal weenie he is.

  2. I’m really looking forward to all this. Watching the cast cover for him will be very cool. At least he only has lines in the first scene. What I want to see is the witty words of the author. At the end, can I yell, “Author, author?”

  3. I luuuurve Buca de Beppies!! I gotta take my kids there, see Zack’s reaction when he gets a’load of all those bosoms on the wall…

  4. maryz

    The overture is about to start.
    So cross your fingers, and hold your heart!
    It’s curtain time and away we go!
    Another opening of another show!
    Break a leg!

  5. Joanie Benson

    What a neat photo on the bikes! Five more seconds and it looks like you might have burned your foot badly.

  6. Has anyone mentioned to that jacka$$ that, if he blows his lines in front of an audience, in the first act, everyone will know that he’s stupid to be on that stage? If I were in the audience, I would be inclined to walk out. (But then, as you know, I am a vindictive bitch.)

  7. Penny Tushingham

    Hope you can let go of the pain and just have a wonderful show. Forget he’s there if that is possible. Wish I was there to see it.

    Pen Pen

  8. I am sure your play will be fun.

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