Zen Coping Skills

Captain’s Log   5,686

I am not like other people.  Not at all.  I have always felt like the oddball, and that was made very clear to me in recent days.  I think differently, I act differently, I talk differently. 

odd

I can geek out like this without any problem whatsoever.  Maybe even worse than the lady in this photo!

I spent most of the weekend wondering if differences are really that important.  I started trying to “measure up” to the people I was spending time with.  It was interesting.  It’s an exercise I put myself through at the most befuddling times.

I am not rich

I am not beautiful

I don’t have a big, expensive house

I never had a big-dollar job in my life

I drive a simple car

I never had the gorgeous family with a successful husband and top-notch children

I would rather read than party

I wear simple jewelry

I am completely unsophisticated with food and wine

I just need to face the fact that I am odd.  Just odd.  Instead of wanting to engage the people I’m with about the merits of Harper Lee’s influence on American literature, I should just shut up and coast through the experience.  Instead, I have a tendency to feel “less than” the others.  

Oh yes, I have heard all about the things I do have.  Sometimes, that feels just like people telling a fat guy he doesn’t sweat much.  Sometimes, I just want to be exotic and elegant.  When you consider the raw material, that ain’t ever gonna happen.   I need to go Zen with my coping skills right now.

32 Comments

Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

32 responses to “Zen Coping Skills

  1. poundheadhere

    You realize all the people you said you’re not, wrapped up in a bow, are Stepford Wives. I do understand feeling left out – really I do. You have a right to miss some of the things you don’t have in your life. There’s nothing wrong with mourning things you perceive as shortfalls.

    Just remind yourself now and again, too, how wonderful it is that you can find joy in birds that frequent your back yard, in a book that requires intelligence and insight to read, and in all the myriad oddities that surround us day by day. You have the very UNCOMMON and ODD ability to turn those things into wonderful observations on the human (and sometimes animal) experience. If you look at every literary wonder, every beloved character in a play or television show or whatever, you bet your sweet bippy they’re the odd man or woman out. That’s because it takes being outside the forest to see those darn trees 😉

    It’s not always a comfortable place to be. I just hope you can find a way of realizing how dramatically important a place it is.

  2. So who’s this rich, beautiful, big, expensive house-havin’, big-dollar job workin’, fancy car drivin’, gorgeous family and successful husband braggin’, partyin’, complicated jewelry wearin, wine and food sophisticated person you’ve been measuring yourself against? I’ll take Poola Boola over that façade every time.

  3. joanie

    Knowing you as I do, I was going to start out writing about how ridiculous it is that you feel this way even 1% of the time. But then I stopped myself because I realize that nothing that one feels concerning themselves is ridiculous…it just IS. Therefore, let me officially validate your feelings and then remind you of something you already know.. that somewhere along the way there was an event or events that made you feel this way and it has nothing to do with being rich, driving a fancy car, etc etc. You happen to be the MOST diverse individual I’ve ever, and I mean EVER met in my life. If that makes you odd, so be it. One definition of odd is “unlike any other.” As far as I’m concerned, it makes you one of the most interesting people I’ve come across. You are willing to try anything. And you do. You are braver than most. Things you do and have done in your lifetime are astounding. If 100 people were asked to make a detailed list of things they’ve done, yours would be the most interesting. So go ahead and enjoy yourself thinking about how you’re less-than, but then get back to reality. Love ya

  4. In spite of all the things you “think” you should be, you are who you are. You be who you be. That is the most special of all. And you are human because every once in awhile, you think you are not enough. You are and you is and you always will be. You’ve probably had more adventures and experiences than most of us could ever imagine. You’ve had near death experiences, birds poop on your head, you make zombie movies just because you can, you have written musicals and plays, you have traveled all over, you have a bird sanctuary in your own backyard, you have hunted javelinas, sang COME ON, BABY, LIGHT MY FIRE at the top of your lungs with me in Tombstone and asked policemen to light giant Mexican marshmellows….WHO DOES THAT? Y.O.U. D.O.!

  5. The most simple man I have ever known was my grandfather on my mother’s side. He was as plain as warm water to the observer, the odd one out. But his mind was full of lessons learned and information on how to live a happy life. If I ever needed one person to be by my side during a crisis, he would be my choice.

  6. Where would we all be without knowing people who are different? It takes years to understand it and even longer to appreciate it. May I say, I truly appreciate you.

  7. Anneke

    That’s why I love you; because you are who you are.

  8. susanna

    OMG that means you’re not one of those TV Women of Orange County or whatever the heck that show is called. They are everything you’re not, gorgeous, bickering, small minded, heavy drinking, time wasting, rich, partying fools. You are really missing out Poolie! Neener.

  9. Penny Tushingham

    Your friendship is far greater than all that materialistic stuff. Who cares what others have, I don’t!

    Love ya Poola!

    Pen Pen

  10. farmgirl

    As Mr. Rogers would say..”Did you know you are very, very special? Yes indeed. And I love you just the way you are.”

  11. maryz

    Would that more people were odd like you!

  12. Ter

    Ya know, sometimes in this nutty world, simple is the way to go. Bigger doesn’t always mean better. I’d rather do more with less than less with more. Especially since the baby I’m learning that happiness can’t be measured with things but with moments and people and love.

  13. jo

    we all have moments of doubt- ie Jack Nicolsen “Is this as good as it gets?”

  14. bholles

    But you have such a sense of adventure. I dont know anyone else who could measure up to that.

  15. annanotbob

    Hugs, dear Poolie. xxx

  16. You captain a mighty ship, and your crew would fight Poseidon himself for you. That should be enough for any man. Er, pie rat. xoxoxox

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