Poolie Has a Melon Head

Captain’s Log   5,682

Houseguests arrive in another few days.  I am very excited to see my Chicago friend!  I’m sure her Portland pal will be nice.  She also has a friend here in San Diego who has been in the city less than a year.  So we will be the Three or Four Musketeers most of the time.  I am busy Friday evening with rehearsals.  There is a trip to the wine lands on Saturday.  I am supposed to have a book club meeting on Sunday morning and I have to find time to work at the doctor’s office too.  I am not sure how everything will shake out.  The Portland pal is leaving on Sunday.  I think my Chicago friend is leaving on Monday morning.  Still not sure. 

The following week I leave for Canada!  Six days with Amy and Kelly up in London, Ontario.  Amy has put out the call for an extra large motorcycle helmet for me.  I have an enormous head that is hard to fit.  I think she has 3-4 loaners for me to try.  She calls my big head a melon.  I will have to talk to her about that.  My mom used to call my head a bushel basket.  I have always taken flack for having such a big head.  When I wear a baseball cap, the sizer thing on the back is at the very end of its capacity.  There is never any extra stuff flapping around back there.  ALL the fabric is stretched to fit my melon head.

And don’t get me started with knit headwear.  I look like a damn bowling ball.

And I have tiny feet.  Big ass head and teeny tootsies.  This lovely combo pack is not a good thing.  I fall over at the simplest nudge because I am so unbalanced.  People used to think it was funny to merely tap me and watch me reel out of control into a wall or a door.  I have suffered countless bruises from people who try to push ahead of me through a door frame.  I fall right into the damn thing.

I stay away from the edges of cliffs when I am around pranksters.

big head

I would have trouble spelunking in tight places.  Actually, I don’t think they make spelunking helmets big enough to fit me, so it’s a moot point.

I know there are worse challenges, but I don’t really feel like writing about them today.  I prefer to bemoan my big head and small feet.  It’s my journal and I can whine if I want to….whine if I want to….whine if I want to.  You would whine too if large-headness happened to you.

Off to work.  I would rather stay home and scrub my floors.


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

15 responses to “Poolie Has a Melon Head

  1. We have discussed the Big Head phenomenon. I hope Amy and Kelly find you a suitable helmet and you have a blast while there!

  2. I love your whine. You sound normal to me. 🙂 All those wonderful friends visiting too. Instead of melon head, this coming week end you will flit around like a butterfly. Next week, Canada can welcome Helmet Head. 🙂

  3. Bwahahahahaaaaaaa!! Casaba cabeza! You’re built like an old timey spinning top! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Lol – at least you’ll be right at home in Canada. I understand they’ve evolved a pretty similar physique. It’s why they’re good hockey players or something.

  4. Patty O'Reilly

    Well, that’s one more thing Hollanders and Irishmen have in common. Didn’t you ever hear Rosie O’Donnell go on about her “Big ol’ Irish head”? She told hilarious stories that resonated with me. As a youngster I dreaded Easter because it meant my mother and I would be shopping for a new hat. I hated looking for a hat. My dainty mother always ended up with a delicate French confection of lace and feather. I always ended up with something that looked like a waste paper basket turned upside down because nothing else ever fit. (Never seen me wear ANY kind of hat, have you? Huh? Huh? Not gonna happen…)

  5. I hope your big head in the big helmet doesn’t cause the big motorcycle to fall over and land on your tiny feet. Take Care and beware!

  6. A few million years ago, I met a woman who used to wear knitted or crocheted caps, but she would say, “I added a brim. I need a brim.” I guess she didn’t want to look like a piece of sports equipment.
    (I wish I could help you. My head is so small, I usually end up in the children’s department.)

  7. bholles

    Cant wait to see you riding a motorcycle.

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