Captain’s Log 5,664
Just two quick things. I want to thank my friend, Pandora, for giving me this great t-shirt last night. She is also a throwback to the hippie days of peace and justice. She understands social causes and will do whatever it takes to make things right. I was yammering on and on the other day about how disgusted I am with Starbucks for encouraging gun owners to bring their weapons into the store. When I met Pandora last night for an early dinner at a lovely vegetarian restaurant (one I had no heard of – surprise surprise), she handed me this.
I absolutely love this!
The other night I got to use my Iowa skills and explain to my writing pal, Sally, that corn crops are carefully bred to create hybrids, etc. I explained that the tassels of the corn are the boy bits of the corn. Corn penises. She was amazed. I told her I spent a summer de-tasseling or “neutering” corn so a specific pollen from different plants would “impregnate” the plant to create something new. Each piece of the tassel becomes the conduit for each kernel of corn on the cob. The “strings” on the corn that you take off before you cook it are actually little tubes for corn “semen.” Now if that doesn’t want to make you rush out and roast a few ears, I don’t know what will. Hey! Raspberry flavoring is made from the anal glands of beavers! That is a LOT worse than dealing with corn semen tubes! If you don’t believe me about the anal gland thing, it’s true. Just Google “raspberry flavoring beaver anus” and you will find it. I wrote about right here on this site too.
Anyway….sometimes hybridization goes awry. Bad things happen. The corn becomes a mutant.
Probably not a good idea to continue this experiment
More farming culture stories tomorrow. I might just write about an age-old method of castrating sheep.