Please Do Not Advise Me….Unless I Ask

Captain’s Log   5,663

The script is finished.  Some copies made.  Scenes ready for Friday night.  Actor agreement forms done and ready for signatures.  Now we just have to see if we get enough people to show up.  Auditions are scary for some people, but this group has self-cast for so long it’s just not fair for a director to come in and try and make things work.  Some of the folks said they are “above” auditioning.  That’s fine.  Then I won’t cast them.  I asked the artistic director last night if we can jettison the show if we don’t get the people.  She said absolutely.  

One thing people need to know is that I never beg anyone for anything.  If someone gets stubborn or balky with me, I just drop it.  Especially if someone is trying to manipulate me.  Stripped to the bone, the rule is…….Poolie Never Chases.  And unless I ask you, don’t ever ever EVER offer me unsolicited advice.   I won’t take it.  Period.  End.  In fact, I will probably do just the opposite.  I’ll show you!  Dammit!


So when is advice welcomed?  When I ASK for it….or when I am about to make a huge, massive error.  What constitutes an error?  Failing to sign the tax form, putting the wrong wires together when installing a switch, standing too close to a moving car wheel.  Stuff like that.  Coming too close to a venomous snake.   Getting on the elevator with a serial killer.  It’s times like those when unsolicited advice is very welcomed.  Other than that, I really just want people to shut the hell up and stay out of my business.

Because guess what?  I don’t offer advice to anyone unless they ask OR they are also getting an elevator with a serial killer (who happens to be holding a venomous snake) and who is attempting to rewire the control box.  THEN I would say something like…..”Hey!  Let’s go get some coffee right now.”  I know better than to make a scene around a snake-toting serial killer.  You have to be very careful in those situations so you don’t let on that you know what’s up.

So….when people flip an attitude with me and want to be chased down, they have a very long wait.  Like…..FOREVER!

So I’m interested to see where people’s fears and expectations bring them on Friday night.  Hopefully, they bring them to my audition table with an open mind and a willingness to let me take care of them on that stage.  That is my job.  It is my job to make them look brilliant.  When I offer suggestions (only as a director), it is commenting on the entire picture we are painting together.  Directors do not offer advice, they offer…..well…..direction.  There is a huge difference.  I take direction very well when the person giving it knows that’s going on.  Advice….not so much.

But the worst is when people give advice on how to direct a show.  Or run a museum.  Do I tell the brain surgeon how to operate?  Do I tell the accountant how to prepare taxes?  Do I tell the pharmacist how to dispense drugs?  NO!  So why are some jobs just out there waiting for “experts” who know so much more than you do?  I don’t get it.  I just don’t.

So we shall see how this all goes.

Groceries tonight on the way home from my dinner meeting.  I have not shopped in a big way for a long time.  When I am down to less than a half box of cereal, things are dire.  As long as nobody tells me what to buy, I should be fine.


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

15 responses to “Please Do Not Advise Me….Unless I Ask

  1. poundheadhere

    You are amazing; it would never occur to me to offer suggestions for something where you clearly excel. I might offer you advice on a domain or web building if they would attract serial killers in snake-infested elevators. I figure you’ve got everything else figured out a lot better than I do, lol.

  2. Patty O'Reilly

    Heck, I have trouble taking my own advice!

  3. joanie

    You just have the cutest way of saying things to get your point across and you make me laugh SO much! Just one thing…., if you need to have one of your limbs (for example, an arm or a leg, or a kidney even) removed, I would suggest that you write “HERE” on said limb with indelible marker as there have been mistakes made in the past by well-respected surgeons. After all, nobody’s perfect. LOL

  4. I’m taking a deep breath for you. I’ve never advise you doing that:) xo

  5. I once read an article by Oscar Hammerstein about casting the film “South Pacific.” Doris Day was an obvious choice for Nellie, but she refused to audition. Mitzi Gaynor, on the contrary, asked permission to audition. I don’t know what Doris’ motives were, but I have to say she missed out on a great opportunity.

    I am judgmental, but I do try not to tell individuals what to do.

  6. Penny Tushingham

    Can I make a suggestion?????? By lots of Mexican Rice Pudding.

    Pen Pen

  7. Sounds like someone pushed your buttons.

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