Dolls in the Attic, Shoes in the Oven

Captain’s Log   5,659

First draft is done!  Wahooo!  We did have a scare last night when Sally started to type and the computer completely froze.  Well, not the whole computer…..just our show.  Total recovery was impossible, but I was able to make a copy of the file.  We lost about a page of work but it was fairly easy to dig back in our wee brains and reconstruct it almost the way we had it.

Now comes the tedious task of polishing the words.  We have to read them and see if they fit into people’s characters, etc.  I also want to see if the characters are well-balanced.  This is an ensemble piece, so no one character is supposed to stand out from the rest.  They are all equally weighted.  I don’t think we have done that.  Some characters need their dialogue beefed up a bit.

We use the word “beef” a lot in this script.  I think five times.  Considering the length of the play and we are not writing about meat, that is a really high number.  But it’s a funny use of the word “beef.”  It’s a funny word no matter how you use it.  Beef.  Think about it.   

I just looked at the clearance items for sale at Bed Bath & Beyond.  I can see why they want to sell this shit.

candlesI would rather die than have this stuff in my house.

This might be fine if you live in a restored lace-filled Victorian home.  But not mine.  I have never been one for cutesy.  Cute, yes.  Cutesy, no.  There is a difference.  I think my house is really cute.  It’s filled with whimsical things and the walls are a really nice color.  Having a bright orange, green, and black quilt on the wall in the dining room is cute too.  I want people to feel like they can play in my house.  They can play with my toys and look at stuff without worry.  No dainty little vase things to break if you look at them sideways.

I tried to deliver a package of publicity materials to someone’s house yesterday, and once again, I was turned down.  I have been turned down for years by this person.  I just wanted to stop by and hand over an envelope.  After watching some of those shows on hoarding…….I am beginning to get suspicious of this.  She let something slip some time ago when she said she stores her shoes in the oven.  I think you might be a hoarder if you store your shoes in the oven.  I think I am not allowed anywhere near her house because she doesn’t want me to find out.  I drove right past her house yesterday (within two blocks) and she told me to drop the package in the mail.  Nobody is ever invited to her house.

oven shoes

A sign of hoarding or just being quaint and eccentric?

It just seems odd that I had to spend $4 sending the package when I was right by her front door.  And she was home because we were talking on the damn phone.

Something is up.  Maybe she is nudist.  Maybe she is a female of version of Dexter and doesn’t want me to know.  Or maybe she is just a hoarder.

And speaking of Dexter, I am a Time Warner subscriber and now I can’t watch Dexter since they are all having a BEEF over pricing.  I have no idea how long they will spat, but it’s truly annoying to have paid for a premium channel and now I cannot watch it.  They are all a bunch of babies.  Greedy babies.  They should go put their shoes in the oven.


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

17 responses to “Dolls in the Attic, Shoes in the Oven

  1. I finally had a moment to sit down and read the blogs again. These past 10 days have been filled to the max. My introverted inner child is having a difficult time with all of this turmoil and chaos. Anyway, I’m glad you told the rude lady off although she will probably be telling everyone about your rant. Glad you are doing so well on the play and so happy you were able to recover most of it. Beautiful birds in your yard ~ I know you are thrilled to see them. And finally, yes ~ this lady does sound like a hoarder ~ so why couldn’t you leave the items in her mailbox or at her front door? Was she afraid she couldn’t get the door open?

  2. You can come to our house and watch it…..

  3. farmgirl

    May be hoarder…I think funny she told you she keeps her shoes in the oven…think I would keep that to myself!! Does she have a significant other? Could there be issues there? Always gets me wondering if someone being TOO protective and secretive. Hope she is safe. Good luck with the progress!! You are having way too much fun!

  4. Patty O'Reilly

    Upon reflection I must say that I think shoes in the oven are better than baby owls. My children once took a nest of motherless baby birds to a rescue lady. She had DOZENS of birds in cages all over her house, and others running/walking/flying free. The temperature was in the 90’s and there were baby owls nesting in the over and more cages on top of the stove. Try to imagine the smell We FLED immediately!

  5. They are hoarding too. LOL
    My daughter had a whole closet of “jackets.” They filled her daughter’s closet. I don’t usually say anything, but this is her little girl’s first room. Daughter called yesterday to say she had sorted all the jackets. Fearful hoarding. Yeah, shoes in the oven are being hoarded. Not a well person.

    Yes, did I say I thought TW were hoarding too.

    How are the crickets, by the way. lol

  6. I had a volunteer like that when I worked for the Red Cross. She never would pick up her supplies, since after all I lived in the same town and could drop them off. “Just leave them in the porch.”

    One time her quarterly blood drive was coming up; she hadn’t requested any supplies, but time was growing short. So I chose a selection of posters and such for her and left them “in the porch,” with a note explaining why I had done so. She called my colleague saying that it was a rude thing to do, and she didn’t know who would put up posters, because “poor Cathy is pregnant…” And I exploded and said, “well, I didn’t knock her up!”

    Everybody else laughed. As we know, some volunteers are worthless.

  7. joanie

    Damn, this lady must have a memory like an elephant! If I were to store my shoes in the oven, guaranteed they would be baked within two days while preheating. Next question is “WHY”? Between her and the Febreeze Lady you sure do have some strange neighbors! The good news is they should have quite a few interesting stories when they all arrive in your bomb shelter one of these days. When you come out, knowing you, you will have written a play.

  8. Patty O'Reilly

    Congrats on the progress; you’re really zooming on your project!

  9. bholles

    I bet she is a female Dexter. Better be careful.

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