Lost Boy, Joshua

Captain’s Log   5,646

I am just angry.  We had an incident in the museum on Free Tuesday that just made me….angry and upset.  That is all I am going to say.  I stewed and carried on and thought about it on the ride home.  I decided to put in all into this video.

Please watch.  Please comment.  I need to know if I am crazy or rightfully upset.

Thanks so very much.


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

29 responses to “Lost Boy, Joshua

  1. Poolie, I watched your blog this morning and I could feel how upset you are. My heart breaks for all of these kids.

    My Mom and her three sisters were placed in an orphanage when they were very small because their parents were both raging alcoholics. My Mom flourished – as a matter of fact, we drove past the building on Sunday and she threw kisses at it.

    She was fed three meals a day, received an education, learned how to swim and dive. She was the May Queen and the President of her class. She was well liked and still keeps in contact with some of the other children.

    Her other sisters did not remember the place as fondly as they were older-my mom was around 3.

    So, the foster system doesn’t work and institutions are iffy. The results are foster homes where some children are cared for like family and some are just a paycheck and are continually abused physically, mentally and by neglect.

    Someone might suggest more people should foster children. With moms and dads both working to make ends meet and everyone in childcare, this is probably not an option that many people would choose.

    Look at the elder abuse and the horrible things that are done to defenseless animals. Why is our society so cruel?

    Oh my gosh, Poolie, what can be done??? Sorry, this is so long – I got on a roll.

  2. Valerie

    Working in child welfare as I do, I can tell you that reporting this will not result in any kind of satisfaction – we have kids in our group homes whose parents were reported over and over and over for neglect and much more – the result of the investigation by Division of Youth and Family Services – “unsubstantiated”. Unsubstantiated??? Because when it’s the word of a child vs. the word of an adult, the adult wins everytime. We have a brother and sister in our care now whose sibling died while in the care of their bio mother. The brother and sister were 4 and 5 when they came to us and could barely walk because they had spent so much time chained to a radiator. We have 3 beautiful little girls with is whose father “disciplined’ them by inserting a broomstick you know where. Because he did this atrocity as a form of “discipline” and not “sexual abuse” he is allowed to deny the girls psychotropic meds (and believe me, they need them). The man is incarcerated, but can still dictate what happens to his babies – at least until we get his rights terminated and free them up for adoption. The kids that come to us are so, so damaged…I don’t know how they’ll ever grow up to have normal lives…instead most of them will perpetuate the parenting that was modelled to them.

  3. The second you said that he didn’t know his parents’ information, my hair bristled. From the time I was three, I could recite my full name, my mom’s name, and our home telephone number to a policeman in an emergency. I wondered for a moment if parents don’t teach that to their children anymore for fear that they’ll recite it to the wrong grown-up … but no; it’s just that these foster parents were negligent. They’re lucky you didn’t call the law.

  4. Besides being upset about what Joshua went through that day, I was also wondering what happened when he got back to the foster home that night? Punished because he was left behind by them, didn’t know the cell phone number, embarrassed the foster parent? Other than contacting the Foster Care system and reporting this incident, there probably isn’t much you can do. Perhaps putting ID on children when they enter the museum would be something to help. Any police or fire departments do the fingerprint program for the children in your area….might be something to suggest all the museums do in the future.

  5. Ned

    I don’t believe it’s just your system that’s broken, it happens over the water too. I share your anger over “parents” like these and am also angry about my inability to change anything.

  6. joanie

    Idiots! By the way you described the incident, my guess is that these “parents” were neither a) embarrassed b) humiliated) c) frantic or d) crying and scared to death that someone might have snatched Joshua when they weren’t paying attention. My guess is that this was probably not the first and won’t be the last time the poor little guy is left behind. So sad. Not funny like the Home Alone Movie.

  7. You have every right to be mad. The traditional family structure has been broken for years. And as technology evolves, the problem is getting worse. We have never been able to connect with other people from around the world so efficiently, yet we’ve never been so disconnected to the people around us. Keanu Reeves coined it perfectly in the movie, Parenthood: “You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car – hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.” Amen.

  8. Yes, he needed the numbers. Yes, call the city about this. Yes, you are not over the top. 🙂 Your company was wonderful stuff last night.

  9. Penny Tushingham

    Yes, our system is broken in so many ways. Where do we begin to fix it. It is a pay check for many but there are good fosters as well, just not enough. You have every right to be mad today, tomorrow and the next day. Maybe you can find a way to do something special for foster kids, somehow, somewhere!

    Pen Pen

    • poolagirl

      What got me most was how complacent he was over the whole thing. Abandoned again. Moving on. Poor little guy!

  10. goatbarnwitch

    I agree that the foster system is not working well and parenting in general is a marginalized activity. My daughter has a friend who is a foster and she is abused by her “family” it is pathetic that these things happen and worse is the permanent damage done to these young people. We should all be mad at the lack of humanity that these children are living with

  11. I wish I knew the answer. I always get angry when people who really aren’t ready to be parents end up with kids anyhow. (Cops in our area recently took a baby away from its mother because she was choking it — to punish the dad, I think — and then she attacked the cop, who was trying to get it to breathe again. Baby’s ok, but…)

    I get angrier when professional baby bearers decide to have a dozen or so children. I never had a home large enough to qualify as a foster parent, so I don’t know anything.

  12. Ter

    I’m with ya! That poor boy is a paycheck, bottom line. The theory behind foster care is great: put kids with families so they have a sense of belonging and are raised in better circumstances than those in which they started. Great! However… It’s pathetic that a situation like that is considered normal and accepted as such. What utterly sucks is there are plenty of success stories out there in favor of the foster system that are overshadowed by stories like this one. And what lesson is this teaching this boy? He’ll grow up jaded and mistrustful of everyone he meets and it so doesn’t have to be that way! The odds of him remembering your kindness are slim to none, but maybe, just maybe, it will and will help him in the future. Chances are unlikely, but if I don’t delude myself I’ll go crazy. Hugging my baby girl a little tighter today!

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