I Love Shoes, Indeed I Do

Captain’s Log  5,631

I love shoes.  I just got rid of half of my shoes and I still own 28 pair.  Shoes, glorious shoes!

But my shoes have to be nice.  When I left the corporate world, I tossed all my heels.  Never to be worn again.  My bunion-less feet are very happy with that.  Working in a museum requires flat shoes.  Why?  Going up and down wooden stairs at LEAST a dozen times a day, standing on the exhibit floor for long periods of time, pushing cars, etc.  Anyone who wears heels in our museum is insane.

I don’t have any nice looking boots, however.  I would love to have a pair of these.  I would SO love that!

 cool boots

Nice flat boots with those incredible tassels.   What’s not to love? 

Here are some shoes I would never wear (and my reasons why).

hover craft shoes

Your own personal hovercraft shoes.  You can wear these while you walk across the English Channel.  I like the color but that wide edge thing would trip me up for sure!

ballet shoes

You’ve heard of training wheels for bikes?  These are training pointe shoes for ballet dancers!  She will be a swan in no time!  With busted toes or a fractured foot!

bar stool shoes

Wear these shoes and you have your own wee barstools wherever you go!  If someone gives you shit, just stomp down really hard and something in the foot bones is sure to break.  Or maybe you could use these shoes instead of those massage thingies that look like turtles.

splint shoes

Really handy shoes for when you break your leg.  They come with a built-in splint!  And from the design hazard, breaking that leg is quite likely!

So there you have it.  Must be a slow day for news when all I can muster up is some pictures of horrendous shoes.  Some days are like that.


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

17 responses to “I Love Shoes, Indeed I Do

  1. I have orthotics in my converse sneakers. True story

  2. Boy do I agree with goatbarnwitch. My flat merrily colored, sandals aren’t fit for your museum, but one can stand in Bjorn’s all day with happy feet. Gotta have happy feet. Where did you find those marvelously entertaining feet things? We did the Skyline Amvets yesterday. I recommend it highly.

    Are you decorating your bomb shelter in pinks and greens?

    • poolagirl

      Bomb shelter is already decorated with pink and green paint. Adding more might make it seem “overdone.” LOL!

  3. goatbarnwitch

    I’ve always felt high heels are the western version of foot binding….. keeps women from running off but labeled for beauty. The riding boot style is very nice to see… flat stylish boots. Check dsw, they had tons – yup, bought a pair a few months back 🙂

  4. For some reason, I always feel guilty when I buy new shoes. Starbucks every day…no problem.
    New sneakers…Catholic guilt rears its’ ugly head.

  5. Did you notice the toenails on Barstool Shoe Lady? She could climb trees.

  6. poundheadhere

    That last picture – blocks of wood and some ribbon to hold them in place – wasn’t actually shoes. There’s no base at all under the model’s foot. Those are stilts!

    I’d love to be able to wear heels again but that isn’t happening any time in the foreseeable future. I have trouble even finding closed-toe shoes I can wear. Finally bought a full size too large today, in a wide shoe, just so I could get them onto my feet.

    • poolagirl

      You would love to wear heels? Did I hear that right?

      • poundheadhere

        Oh absolutely. I love pretty, sexy shoes. I don’t wear them – gotta go for realistic at the moment, and heels don’t fit that criteria. I routinely stumble even with flats these days, part of why I’m in the chair now.

        I’d also love to wear beautiful skinny clothes, and that ain’t happening any time soon either, lol. If I were slender enough I’d go full Audrey Hepburn. (Though come to think of it, she usually wore ballet flats.)

  7. Patty O'

    Some shoe designers obviously hate women. And women can be really, really stupid.

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