Exploding Joy

Captain’s Log  5,616

It’s a week of long days and late nights (rehearsals).  The bonus is I am taking Friday off to see Joanie, Hairdresser Exceptionale.  I also have a show that night, so I deserve a day off.  Actually, I am going to shop for supplies since the cast party is at my house after the show on Saturday.   I think I will inform the neighbors that the party will be starting around 10:30 or 11:00.  We aren’t a wild bunch, but it would be polite to let them know.   Especially Febreze Lady.  Want to give her plenty of time to go to the store and stock up.

More nightmares last night.  Weird and disturbing with people I haven’t seen in years.

belly dancing lessons

some sort of performance art with a large parrot

blankets over all the windows

throwing up in a small sink 

lost car keys

and my cell phone turning into something no bigger than a Bic lighter

I don’t usually dream like this, but I woke up anxious and fretful.  That was it.  No more sleeping after 3:00 AM or so.  It was just too elusive.   Demons.  It’s all about mental demons.  And the struggle it is for me to face Mondays.  This is not good.  

burnout0That’s it!

Along with other problems too numerous to mention.  I’ve tried to stay positive and not let things bother me, but that isn’t working very well.  I am bothered.  Bothered to the point of nightmares. 

Cannot wait for 6:00 to arrive so I can be with my friends….creating fun.  Making art.  Exploding joy. 


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

18 responses to “Exploding Joy

  1. I always dream about throwing up (and bugs) when I am particularly stressed. I hope your brain calms down soon.

  2. Valerie

    Uggh! I had a job at one time and could NEVER fall asleep on Sunday nights. I’m grateful that that’s in my past. Hope things improve soon for you.

  3. *Hugs* I hope you arrive at a point of more peace in the relatively near future. The arts and creativity feed your soul, indeed; you still need to divest yourself of those psychological toxins for good.

    • poolagirl

      I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have the theater group right now. I would come home and rot away v

  4. A psychic once told me that my job was sucking the life out of me…she was absolutely right. So I am having a psychic moment for you….Your current job is sucking the joy out of you…..

  5. joanie

    Wow, Sigmund would have a field day with THOSE dreams! But I have read that a parrot signifies a mocking, obnoxious person in your life. And throwing up??? Well, I’ve heard tell that this might be the need to reject or discard an aspect of your life that’s revolting to you. Gee, I have no idea why you would dream up something like THAT! lol As an experienced hairstylist/PSYCHO-therapist I may need to discuss this further with you at our next appointment. It’s the small sink that really has me worried.

  6. Your life is neither calm nor empty. Have they gotten rid of herself yet? That will help.

  7. Patty O'

    I have always looked upon nightmares as my mind’s way of cleaning things out, revealing them and then discarding them. You may notice that those particular nightmares are usually not repeated. Out in the open, then into the trash. Leaving a clean slate. Repetitious nightmare are the ones that usually have a significance or are just generally indicative of a larger problem. I think you are just doing a little mental spring cleaning and that always happens during time of stress. The joy will win. Because that’s who you are. HUGS.

  8. Sometimes you have to distinguish between what you have and what might have been. It all starts off well, and then the two diverge.

  9. Mia

    Hopefully life will calm down soon.

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