Exceptional Salad in a Sea of Fish

Captain’s Log  4,545

Had a nice dinner with the doc and his family last night.  We went to a fish house.  Watching them suck down oysters was a bit of a challenge for me, but I held my stomach and concentrated on my Southwest salad I had as an entree with some delicious mac & cheese.


Lots of things to churn up the gut in this one.  Corn, beans, and….CILANTRO!  You either love cilantro or you don’t.  I truly LOVE it.  It tastes like the color of green.  I have been in love with it the first time I tasted it.   I plan to grow some of my own next growing season.  Just for fun.  A big bunch of it costs about 25 cents in the store, but it’s the idea of doing something wholistic like that.

Christmas gifts are all wrapped and ready.  YAY!  I am excited to take my spotted dick to the white elephant party tomorrow night.  Well, it’s not MY spotted dick.  I don’t have a dick, and if I did, I would REALLY REALLY hope it wasn’t filled with spots.   I would like a plain, unspotted dick…..if you please.  If you leave the raisins out, is it just….dick?  Do you really go into a restaurant and order….dick?  Well, here in America you can go in and order a wiener.  We had a politician named Wiener (who did bad things with his wiener).  I think wieners in England are called “bangers.”  That’s really quit funny too.  Three phallic-sounding foods:  dick, wiener, bangers.

From a British recipe site:  Your guests will be excited to try this unique and very flavorful dessert.  It’s not every day you get to try something so delicious and amazing.

I’m sure.  


Spotted dick with the thick and creamy sauce just waiting to decorate dish with amazing flavor and texture.  Don’t start!

Here are some more…..unique…..foods.

Fitless Cock
Not slang for small penis and not a term for an out-of-shape chicken, fitless cock is actually a dish made of oatmeal, chopped onion and suet (the hard fat surrounding kidneys) which is beaten with an egg, shaped into the form a chicken and cooked.

The last thing we want when we eat is a reminder of gonorrhea.  And clapshot just sounds like an instant shot of the clap.  In reality, clapshot is just mashed potatoes with chives and butter.  But it’s not like gonorrhea looks all that different.

Neeps And Tatties
It’s just mashed turnips and potatoes, but it sounds like rapper slang for T&V.  Pretty sure we’ve seen music videos where Jay-Z asks the ladies to show their neeps and tatties.

Wet Nelly
A wet nelly sounds like the start of an intimate evening, but it’s really just a dessert pudding soaked in syrup.  Sure, the name somewhat describes the dish, and it is kinda sexy — the world needs more food with erotic names.

Girdle Sponges
At first I thought a girdle sponge was kinda like edible underwear, but it turns out it’s just a fried sponge cake.  Bummer too, because the edible girdle would probably taste better… even if it was already worn.

That is all for today.  I have a party to attend.  Laundry to do.  Books to read.


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

17 responses to “Exceptional Salad in a Sea of Fish

  1. 50 varieties of food porn…..the new challenge….

  2. Cilantro is awesome!!! Glad you found a veggie alternative at a seafood place

  3. annanotbob

    I’m very familiar with spotted dick, food of my childhood. I’ve made it myself, many times though not since I heard of cholesterol. Also neeps and tatties (I have a Scottish brother-in-law), but I think you made the rest up 😉 xx

  4. Joanie Bensoni

    I’ve never seen so much food pornography in one post! Makes me hungry. LOL

  5. You’re kidding. A big, burly pirate such as yourself put off by…oysters? I should have thought that would be like mother’s milk to a seafarin’ scalliwag as yerself. I knew you was a landlubber at heart.

    BTW, “filled with spots” isn’t so bad. You get used to it eventually. I mean, Michael Jackson did, right?

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