Captain’s Log 4,535
Funny how things show up when you pay attention to them. Just yesterday I was talking about wanting to see Anne Hathaway getting her hair cut off with a knife in Les Miserables. Lo and behold, since she was on my mind, I came across this interesting headline online this morning.
Flashes Her Vajayjay
At The Les Misérables
Oh, that Anne Hathaway! When one is wearing faux gladiator boots/shoe combo to a movie premiere where you play a golden-hearted whore, it is best to be mindful of the fact that you are commando under your very skimpy dress.
How unfortunate. She is going to be remembered for this. Just like Sharon Stone (only different).
I had a wardrobe malfunction once when I was teaching a group of 4th graders how to folk dance. My tights fell down. I had several other wardrobe malfunctions later in my “upscale” career. One of them involved losing a half-slip in the middle of the street whilst pushing a TV across the street on one of those TV cart things. I learned the value of never wearing skirts or dresses to work again. And I never have. And I haven’t lost a slip since. I have worn skirts and dresses since that awful day, but not very often. I worry so much about catastrophes that it just isn’t worth it. I can’t handle the pressure.
Here is a list of things that make me feel pressured and insecure.
Cooking for people who really know how to cook
Trying to ski
Going to parties
Trying to learn another language
Driving someone’s car when they are sitting in it
Being in a meeting with a group of alpha dogs
Being around people who take themselves seriously
Hugging people I don’t know (ICKY)
Most of the time, I can just suck it up and get through whatever I need to get through. But…there are times…..
I almost called someone a humorless twat yesterday, but then I thought the better of it. It was SO there on the tip of my mind. I was on the phone with one of those type A women who never smile and just push agendas around like brooms. They don’t even have one polite moment to say “How are you?” Everything is business business business. Can’t stand that. She is a cohort of mine, but I have never liked her. Metabolism of a hummingbird (and as frantic), lifeless hair and wardrobe, and she peers over her reading glasses all day long – making sour faces. No laughing or smiling. She actually looks a bit like Margaret Hamilton in The Wizard of Oz.
Just add the glasses.
As my spiritual friends would say, I get to CHOOSE how I deal with this person. That is absolutely correct. And I CHOOSE to not deal with her whenever possible. Some would even say I actually CREATED her and brought her into my life to teach me a lesson. Hmmmm….that is going to take some thinking. If I actually did that, I need my head examined.