Funny Thing For Our Lost & Found?

Captain’s Log    4,521

Now that the tickets to Amsterdam are booked, I can breathe a little bit better.  I was getting concerned.  The ticket prices are almost $150 higher than they were two months ago.  So we jumped in.  The price may go down again, but my peace of mind is all that matters.  We upgraded our seats too for more leg room.  Splitting up the trip made sense too.  My original plan was to leave San Diego at 6:15 AM, arrive in Chicago for a 5 hour lay-over, and then fly all night with my Chicago friend to Amsterdam.  That would have been a truly hellish amount of time.  So I added a day in Chicago both ways.  I like the idea of breaking up the day and sleeping in a BED instead of on the plane.  Doing that added about $100 to the experience for me, but it is money well-spent.

So after yesterday’s ticketing euphoria, I walked into work and was greeted with an angry business manager who was flipping out over what someone had left in the staff restroom sometime over the weekend.  A small personal bottle of sexual lubricant.  Right on the sink.  OH DEAR!

If I had found it, I simply would have thrown it in the trash.  But NOOOOOOOO!  She sent out an email to the entire staff demanding that the person who left it there go in and retrieve it.  Yeah.  Like THAT would happen?  After she zipped off that email, everyone went into the restroom to LOOK at the little bottle of love juice, but nobody would touch it.  There were a lot of EWWWWWW’s and GROSSSSSSS’s.  So I grabbed some toilet paper, snatched the bottle (pun intended), and tossed it in the trash.  It wasn’t even the good stuff.  It was a generic brand from CVS pharmacy!  Travel size!  You could bag it and take it through TSA without any questions at all (hopefully).  

I decided to ask the janitor if he had seen anyone had been in the upstairs area over the weekend other than staff.  He said no.  He was puzzled by my question, so I told him why I was curious –  and he about fell through the floor!   He said nobody but staff were on the second floor.  So we have it narrowed down to two young men who work in the store.  One wouldn’t even know what that stuff is, and the other one….well…..yeah.  I can see it.  I’m glad I DIDN’T see it.  Well, I DID see it, but only the bottle.  Oh, never mind!

I guess there is a moral to this story.  If you bring a bottle of sexual lubricant to work and use it in the very secluded and private bathroom that only you and one other person have access to, make sure you don’t leave it on the edge of the sink.  Second moral of this story.  Don’t bring sexual lubricant into any restroom and leave it on the damn sink.

I guess I am glad this person chose to use his lubricant in the bathroom instead of on the sofa in the break room.  Well, since I wasn’t there, maybe he DID use it there!  Oh GOD!  Now I have another image to erase from my mind!  Erase!  Erase!

We find a lot of things in the museum.  Mostly sunglasses.  We have also found cell phones, cameras, wallets, and car keys.  This is the first time we have found sexual lubricant.   We keep all found items in a box at the front desk for four months.  If the stuff isn’t claimed, we take it to the main visitor’s center.   I have no idea what they do with it there.  Probably sell it on eBay.   Wonder if anyone would want a half-used bottle of generic sex gel?  I was looking at toasters on Amazon this morning, and people DO sell used toasters.   I most definitely would NOT buy a used toaster.

On that happy note, it’s Freak Tuesday again.  How time flies when you are in the experience business.