Fifty Shades Contestant #15!

Captain’s Log    4,471

Today is it!  I Think I Look Like Angela Lansbury With Fifty Shades of Grey “contest” is officially closed.  I have enough photos for a few more days.  And then it will be off to voting!  How exciting is that?  The voting will be up for five days and then the “winner” will be announced.  Not sure if winning something like this is commendable or not.  I don’t think it would be something to put on a resume.  But it certainly brought a few smiles.

This next entry was submitted by another online friend I met during my Diaryland days.  Oh, the good old days of Diaryland.  She writes as Summer Gale.  She and her hub unit are near and dear to my heart because they also love to geocache!  Free-spirited and funny, I present…………..

When one of Christian’s former “subs” is found inside the $40,000,000 apartment on a quest to find Ana and murder her in her sleep (or at least scuff up her shoes and set fire to her brand new Audi), Ana springs to action and knocks the interloping feral psychotic bitch to the floor.   Dragging her to a sitting position, she demands to know what she wants.  “Christian is MINE, you whore!” she screams!  The sub tries to talk but Ana’s grasp is too strong.  While she is making gakking sounds, Christian enters the room, copperish locks still wet from the shower.  He falls to the floor and knocks Ana aside.  “Mrs. Grey!  What are you doing to this witless tramp who was FAR more obedient to me that you will ever be?” Ana stands and bites her lip.  She whines.  “I know you love her more than you love me!”  Christian sighs and lifts the sub from the floor.  “This is not about love, Ana.  It is about giving this poor girl a bath.  Even though she broke into our house to possibly kill you, she needs to soak in bubbles.  Come.”  They enter the bathroom.  Christian gently removes the sub’s leather chaps and lace panties. He lowers her into the hot and scented water that has been mysteriously prepared by his long-suffering housekeeper.   He nods to Ana and says, “Undress….and get in the tub with her.”  She does, smiling through bitten lips.  When they are both in the tub, Christian removes his jeans and boxers and sits on the edge of the tub.  He purrs….”There now, ladies.  I want you to play with the spigot.  Be careful how you handle it.  It’s almost the right temperature now, so take your time.  Treat it nicely.  It’s the most valuable part of the plumbing.  You can both play at the same time.”  They rub and tickle the spigot over and over.  He sighs and says, “It’s important to clear my pipes at least once a day, ladies.  Thank you for your service.”  My inner goddess is going off to the hardware store to buy a new Delta faucet. 

Oh!  My goodness!  Is it getting warm in here?

10 Comments

Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

10 responses to “Fifty Shades Contestant #15!

  1. Gives a whole new meaning to “steamy” doesn’t it?

  2. I’m singing along with that first one.

  3. OH YES WE HAVE NO BANANAS….

    Oh No, we have no bandanas
    We have no bandanas today.
    We have bolo ties and neck ties
    Scarves and mufflers too.
    We have white shirts and t-shirts
    Boxers and thongs in lacy blue
    But No, we have no bandanas
    We have no bandanas today…..

    I’M FOREVER BLOWING BUBBLES.

    I’m forever sitting in bubbles,
    Pretty bubbles in the tub
    They smell so nice, add so much spice
    and in the tub, we rub a dub dub

    Christian’s always playing
    with my goodies everywhere
    I’m forever soaking in bubbles
    showing my boobies and derreire

  4. summergale

    So funny! My sis in law was wondering what I was going to do with that picture. Now she wants to be Ana!

  5. Oh, no! This is like a new show I watched last night (“Call the Midwife,” PBS). Two women fighting in the street, and one of them yelling, “I am not a whore.” And the other one says, “That’s because he never paid you. After I kill you, I’m gonna kill him!”

    Personally, I never thought he was worth fighting over. 8)

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