Fifty Shades Contestant #14!

Captain’s Log   4,470

I just sit down and it happens.  Some succubus comes and takes over my sweet and innocent soul and replaces it with SMUT.  And all of it with the characters fully-clothed.  Amazing.  Yes, the I Think I Look Like Angela Lansbury With Fifty Shades of Grey continues to march forward.  Will it end on Tuesday?  I have enough photos to take me to that point….unless I get more by 7:00 AM Monday morning (Pacific Time).  Think about it.  Don’t delay.  And for heaven’s sake, don’t be shy!  It’s not YOU who is writing this stuff!  Send to poolagirl (at) aol dot com.

This next entry comes from someone I am going to meet in 3D on Sunday, October 21st.  She and her family are flying to San Diego from the Portland area.  She writes as Just Words on a Page.  She is witty and sharp – and she kicks my ass in Words With Friends.  I am very excited to meet her, but for now……just the picture and the smutty story that goes along with it.

Ana’s big wet eyes cannot convince Christian that she doesn’t need to be punished for leaving her cantaloupes on the breakfast tray.  He approaches her quickly, Mr. Spanky Hand twitching with anticipation.  “You know how important it is to take care of your melons, Ana.  You have defied me.  Before I spank you, I am going to make you watch me suck and nibble the fruit you have so rudely ignored.”   Ana nods.  She puts her hands behind her head for a better view of him suckling her fruit.  His copper locks bob and bounce with each joyful mouthful.   A master at fruit sucking, he takes a very long time before he is sated.  Ana winces with the pleasure of that experience.  “Mr. Grey, I have never seen you so focused on my fruit before.  I enjoyed watching you eat it.  Oh, if I could eat it myself.”  Christian smiles and gathers some of the melon in his hands.  Carefully, he squeezes it and brings it toward her lip-bitten mouth.  “Lean forward, Ana. Reach for it.  Suck before you bite.  Go gently.  Savor it, for it is the food of the gods.”  She surrenders to the pleasure.  Her stomach twitches with glee – as do all points south.  As God as her witness, she would never go hungry again (tipping her melons skyward).  My inner goddess is examining seed catalogues to find out the best season to plant melons.

I think I am going over the top.  Holy fookin’ momma!  What’s next?  Tune in tomorrow.

P.S.  I got ANOTHER entry whilst writing this one.  Get on the stick (maybe not a good way to say that).  Come on!  (also not a good way to say that).  Enter the contest!  (even worse way to say that).


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

4 responses to “Fifty Shades Contestant #14!

  1. You are getting us all excited. LOL

  2. Damn, I just wrote two parodies and they disappeared! Argh!

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