Fifty Shades Contestant #13!

Captain’s Log   4,469

With one day left before the deadline, I am pleased to report that I have enough entries to take me into next week for the I Think I Look Like Angela Lansbury With Fifty Shades of Grey contest.   Trust me, I can handle more, but I must have your photo no later than Monday morning (taking into account times zones and things).  Entries will officially end when I sit down at the computer on Monday morning at 7:00 but will continue to post until everyone has a “story.”   Like I do every morning except weekends.  I write a bit later on those days because the Confederacy does not require my presence.  So… please send your photo to poolagirl (at) aol dot com.  That is all.

This next entry comes from someone I met in my Diaryland days.  I am not sure how the meeting happened, but we have had some major fun over the years.  Although she no longer writes, Miss Hiss makes an occasional foray into the journal world to see what’s happening.  I’m glad she dropped in here a few days ago and discovered that she still had time to send in her entry all the way from Australia.  So…here you have it.  Miss Hiss!

Ana knows how much Christian is affected by her lips….especially when she bites them and looks innocent and pensive.  Since she hasn’t used her intellect for DAYS, the language of lips will suffice.  She enters the $40,000,000 apartment fresh from a day of shopping (with bodyguards sneaking around like CIA agents behind her).   “Good afternoon, Mr. Grey,” she purrs as she sets her $5,000 bag on the table.  He is not pleased.  “You’re late, Ana!  Two minutes late and you have not texted me to let me know of your whereabouts at all times.  You know the rule.  Turn around.  I want to see  your round and perfect backyard playground before I add some parking stripes on your lovely landscaping.”  Ana begins a soft swing into position and then abruptly turns, showing him her freshly-painted, ample lips.  Teasingly, she pops a cherry into her mouth and holds it gently between her teeth.  The cherries appear out of nowhere but that’s okay because too much exposition ruins the writing moment.  She flicks her tongue on both sides of the cherry, taking care to keep the sexy drool that has collected from running down her chin.  She speaks around the cherry, “Oood ooo ike ooo  ite is airy rom eye ipps, Isser A?” (must read that out loud phonetically to get the gist)  A bit more drool collects at the corner of her mouth.  He lunges at her and tips her backwards across the arm of the sofa.  Gently, he lowers her to the cushions and begins to lick the juices that are now flowing freely.  She wiggles and bucks as he concentrates his efforts on the little dippy spot at the head of her cherry.  He licks and licks until she cannot contain her joy any longer.  With one gasping bite, the cherry explodes.  He continues to dig for the center, more fervently and with soft nips at the edges of her full and wanting lips that seem to pulse with their redness.  He pulls the cherry into his mouth and swallows it all.  And then, Christian smiles with delight.  Ana rises from the sofa, flushed and breathing hard.  She purrs, “Five servings a day, Mr. Grey.  For your health.”  My inner goddess is going to watch the History Channel to see if that myth about George Washington and that cherry tree is really true.

Humma!  That was a humma!  Like I said earlier, I just sit down and let the words fly out of my mind.  I never know where it’s going to take me.  If you are game to have your photo the subject of such smut, send it over!


Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

37 responses to “Fifty Shades Contestant #13!


    (Wait) oh yes
    Wait a minute, Christian Grey
    (Wait – wait), Lover Boy ~ for me

    Please, Christian Grey, won’t you look at me?
    ( Woah, yeah)
    Is there’s some loving in your bed for me?
    Please, please Mr. Spanky Hands
    It’s been such a long, long time
    (Woah, yeah)
    Since I`ve had attention from that man of mine..

    There must be some plans today ~
    Christian, Baby, you’ve been so far away
    Please Mister Grey, won’t you look at me ~
    Did you bring a necktie or some handcuffs for me?

    I’ve been naked here waiting, Mister Grey
    So, oh, so patiently
    For just a pinch or just a feather
    like that time you had to tickle me.

    Please, Mister Grey
    It’s meant to be
    (Woah, yeah)
    Is there a romp in the hay for me?
    Please, please Christian Darling
    It’s been such a long time
    (Woah, yeah)
    Since I’ve had you in this bed of mine.

    So many times, since you slapped my thighs
    You saw the tears standing in my eyes
    You wouldn’t stop to make me feel better
    By giving me a hug ~ you were just out to get-her
    Done. Christian Grey, won’t you look and see
    Is there a chance in your bed for me?
    I promise that I won’t do it wrong
    I love you so and it’s been so long…
    Since I’ve heard from
    That other man of mine
    I know that things haven’t been too fine.
    All I ask is for another chance
    A chance for us to have some romance…

    You better wait a minute, wait a minute…wait, wait, wait.
    Wait Just a minute, Mr. Grey
    Oh, I can explain if you listen ~ ok?
    (Wait, wait a minute, Christian Grey
    Please, please, please let me say.

    Just give me a moment to tell you true
    All the kinky things I want to do to you..
    You won’t regret it ~ you can have your own way.
    Then I’ll go shopping and it will be ok.

    You gotta wait (wait)
    Wait a minute Christian Grey
    Wait a minute, listen ~ won’t you let me say
    (Wait, wait a minute, Christian Grey

    I guess you don’t care to know what I did
    Or where all those treasures for you ~ I hid
    (Wait, wait a minute, Christian Grey.
    Don’t get so excited, we’ve got all day
    Wait a minute, wait a minute,
    Christian Grey…
    Wait a minute, wait a minute
    oH, oH, oHH, wait a minute, Christian Grey
    Wait a minute, please
    Christian Grey..
    Wait a minute ~ oh don’t you stop…..

  2. Hissy… that’s a blast from the past.

  3. Only five servings a day? Well, it’s little wonder the poor girl spends her miserable life shopping for handbags, now is it? (Note to Ana: investigate various macerative processes and preservative qualities of glace cherries — perhaps they’ll make Mr Grey last longer than fresh ones do…) x

  4. Hahaha!Best one yet. And how lovely to see Miss Hiss again! s x

  5. Yes!!!! Miss Hiss participated in your juicy little romp! And she looks luscious as ever, I might add. Bravo and now just waiting for Dangermouse to submit his own picture. Mr Grey indeed!

  6. Hissy doesn’t write anymore? That’s a shame. She’s a really good wordsmith.

  7. Oh, and I so miss the stylings of Miss Hiss.

  8. “Five servings a day, Mr. Grey. For your health.” OMG that was hilarious. I still want to do mine but can’t make it to the hardware store in time 😦

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