Captain’s Log 4,468
Ah! It finally happened! I finally received a photo from a man who wants to enter the I Think I Look Like Angela Lansbury With Fifty Shades of Grey contest! It takes a real man to enter a girl smut-fest, and I take my hat off to him. There is still time, people. Three more days! I already have a special page set up for the contest (see the page navigation bar at the top). I am going to load everything there – including the link to the survey. Should make things easier. All you need to do is drop your photo to poolagirl (at) aol dot com. I’ll do the rest.
I would like to introduce you to Mr. John Z from Tennessee. He is Mary Z’s (contestant #2) truly funny hub unit, and when they came to visit me at the museum a few weeks ago, the sense of mischief sent the air to crackling! He smiled the entire time and seems to be a barrel of fun. I hope to take a side trip to visit them next time I am in Atlanta.
But for now……
In an attempt to piss Christian off more than ever and earn herself a week-long stay in the Play Room, Ana ditches her bodyguards long enough to go to Super Cuts and have most of her vixen-ish locks cut off! Donning an old t-shirt from Christian’s blood bank days, she tries to fool him by surprising him with a quick date at the coffeeshop near their $40,000 ,000 apartment. Christian enters and looks bewildered. He immediately shakes his copper-ish locks and drags his phone out to start texting her. “Mrs. Grey! You are 10 seconds late. Has some terrible fate befallen you? Are you boinking that college boy who has the hots for you?” Ana laughs and sits down at the table in front of him. She points her pinky and wiggles it like a little winkie. It has the same effect of all that lip biting but it wasn’t included in the story because it might have ruined its artistic integrity. Anyway, she smiles and says, “Why hello there, Mr. Spanky Hand.” Purrrrrrr…….. Christian looks astonished! His keen eyes deceive him! Ana smiles and says, “Call me Ana-John. I know you like it. I know there are times you wish I was a boy. What with all that behind-the-scenes stuff you like to do. Right, sweetie?” Purrrrrr…… Christian blushes the color of his hair and sputters. “It’s true, Ana-John. It’s true.” His voice comes out in ragged spurts as he slides to his knees in a pose of supplication (loaded innuendo, eh?). “In fact, I’ve always wanted to dress up like a cardinal…..and you as…..a……oh GOD, forgive me!” Ana-John smiles. “You want me to be your little altar boy, don’t you? We can. Instead of playing Aztec tonight, we can play Putting Away the Communion Wine That Costs $800 a Bottle. It will be fun. I promise.” Christian rubs his fingers over Ana-John’s stubby head. It’s going to be a magnificent evening. My inner goddess has run off to make a confession at the local cathedral.
Holy mommacita! I had no idea where that was going! I just kept writing about Ana-John and the effect “her” stubby head had on Mr. Grey. Who knew? I think I should email E.L. James and advise her to add this part of sexual experimentation to their list of activities.