Captain’s Log 4,461
I just love it when my friends get on the bandwagon and agree to play a silly game with me! I Think I Look Like Angela Lansbury With Fifty Shades of Grey is really shaping up into something fun! A big thanks to everyone who has submitted so far. Remember, you have until September 30th to send me your best impression of yourself as you “interpret” what the contest means to you. Reading the books is not required. There is enough hype out there for you to have fun without putting yourself through that kind of nonsense. Send your photo to poolagirl (at) aol dot com.
The next entry comes from an old online journal pal named Pound Head Here. She lives in Arizona and I have met her three times in 3D! She came to one of my opening nights, and this past January I visited her in the Phoenix area with my friend Anneke from the Netherlands. I also met her for a short visit on a swing through the state. It’s her turn to visit me again, so maybe this contest will be the catalyst!
Fresh from a special bath with Christian, she immediately grows suspicious of where he went. He tells her he is going off to the kitchen for some post-coital grapes and cheese and wine that costs $800 a bottle. After he’s been gone for 45 seconds, she immediately grabs her phone and starts hammering out a frantic message. “Mr. Spanky Hanky Panky, have you flown somewhere nice in your custom-made helicopter? Or have you sneaked off to be with that she-whore feral bitch who taught you how to spank when you were a mere lad? Not that I am jealous or anything. Love, Mrs. Spanky Hanky Panky.” She bites her lip and pouts. Will Christian return and give her massive stink eye as she gobbles her grapes? Or will he find ways to torture her with the beads of Bacchus? (made up that “beads of Bacchus” thing – kinda like it and will use it in my book) My inner goddess is heading off to the farmer’s market for more Bacchus beads, cucumbers, and duct tape (bondage wonder product). I wonder if they sell duct tape there.
See how much fun we are having with this? Just send in your photo and I will do the rest. I offer to write ridiculous smut about what you are doing/thinking in your picture. Send me a photo of yourself flossing your teeth and I will make it work. Trust me. Don’t wait too long! September 30th will be here before you know it!