Captain’s Log 4,460
And the entries continue to flood into contest headquarters! Yes! Got another one yesterday to be entered into the I Think I Look Like Angela Lansbury With Fifty Shades of Grey contest! The deadline is September 30th, so there is still time to send me your picture. poolagirl (at) aol dot com. Don’t be shy! Nobody in these books is shy. They PRETEND to be shy, but hey. They are not shy.
This entry comes from a long-standing journal pal named Ter, the Teacher/Farmer. No, she does not teach farming. She lives on a small farm and she teaches writing (I think) at the college level. She loves her hub unit, her family, her animals, and the world in general. Very sweet lady – with a sense of nasty mischief. See for yourself.
Smoky eyes give away the darkest secrets. What lurks behind those dark orbs of desire will surely drive Christian mad with the heat of unspent passion. Is that a smile or a snippy little smirk that challenges him to show her something new? As he comes closer to study the picture (of a wee dog in a teapot?), she will grab the back of his copper-colored, moppish locks and pin him to the wall with daggerish looks of wanting and shameless lust. (first time “moppish” and “daggerish” ever used in the same sentence) This time, instead of zip ties, she surprises him with a bang of bungee cords in various sizes. Will she be dangled from the ceiling fan (whilst spinning on low speed) or secured onto the roof of the car with the luggage they are taking to Monaco? My inner goddess is stopping at the local AAA office to get some free travel guides. Because the goddess has a membership there.
See how much fun parody can be? Do not delay! And this contest is not just for the ladies. 99% of these books are about Christian Grey. What does he think? What does he feel? How much salt did he put on his eggs? How does he keep his linen shirts so clean? Will he buy Ana another new car or a house? Why won’t he let Ana kiss his man boobs? Who maintains his riding crop collection? So many deeply puzzling questions that NEED answers!
I think it’s quite obvious that I could leave the Confederacy and write erotica. If these descriptions over the last few days are an indication of my skill, I am really confident that E.L. James and I could be having lunch together in a matter of months.