Back in the Theatre Saddle

Captain’s Log  4,485

I didn’t even sit at my desk yesterday.  One of those days that was completely eaten up by meetings and “things” I had to deal with.  The biggest “thing” was when a customer walked off with my car keys.  I had been at the front counter looking at some books for the store.  I know I laid my keys on the counter, so when I turned away for a few minutes and then put my attention back to the counter, I knew something was VERY wrong.  But, like most of us, I doubted myself.  I started looking everywhere for the keys – even places I knew I had not gone.  Just in case.  

One of the staff agreed to drive me home to get the extra set.  Just as we turned the corner about a mile from my house, the phone rang.  The customer had returned to the museum with my keys.  He thought they were his wife’s keys and pocketed them.  When they got to lunch, he pulled them out and realized they were keys to a Mazda.  Thankfully, he brought them back.  I was in a panic.  House keys are easy to replace, but the other ones need special permission, etc.  It would have been tremendously difficult to replace them.  The car key is a transponder – the one with the micro chip embedded.  Replacing that alone would have cost about $200 or more.  Plus the locking fob.  The key to the doctor’s office would have been a problem too.  So, when it was all said and done, I was a very happy camper.

After that lovely scare, I moved on to a meeting with a local community theatre group near my house.  They are in need of someone to write press releases and things, so I am thrilled to help them out.  They also lost their rehearsal/performance space, so that’s another issue.  They were using a community center, but the needlepoint club complained and they got booted.  Never knew needlepoint clubs carried that kind of clout.  What you don’t learn.

Theatre people are notoriously free-thinking and liberal-minded (unless you are Mel Gibson – then you are just a total asshat).  So it came as quite a surprise to me when one of the younger women in the group kept talking about meeting Phyllis Diller in heaven.  Praise God this and praise God that.  She was sitting right next to me, and since I was the newbie, I wasn’t quite sure what to do.  I tried to catch my friend’s attention from across the table, but she was no help.  Eventually, this loud and forceful Jesus lover left, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.  Apparently, she is a bane.  Nobody likes her.  When I asked why nobody helped me, they all burst out laughing and said they didn’t trust themselves to even look at me.  Cuz they knew I was having trouble with the bane.  Phyllis Diller in heaven?  

They made it right by serving some tres leches cake.

Tres leches – three-milk cake.  SOOOOO good!

I had two pieces.  I deserved that for dealing with the bane.  I would have had tequila too if it had been offered.  That bane took a lot out of me.  Left me in a weakened state.

So off I go to another round of meetings today.  I am leaving early to meet Daniel (author friend) to talk about his book. Since it gets to about 95 degrees in my office by 2:00 in the afternoon, leaving early does not make me feel guilty at all!



Filed under Captain Poolie's observations

7 responses to “Back in the Theatre Saddle

  1. Needlepointers = Sharp Objects = Getting Own Way. Knitters are to be feared also!

  2. Oh, but the bane would make such a wonderful character in your next play. I try to be tolerant of religious beliefs, but sometimes you have to struggle to retain a straight face.

    Besides, who’s to say Phyllis Diller isn’t in heaven? I am sure God has a sense of humor. Look at some of the people he’s made.

  3. Maryz

    Re coming to SD… Current plans are that we’ll drive from here to LA area on Saturday. Take the train to SD on Tuesday and spend two nights with our granddaughter and spouse. Then fly home Thursday morning. Just a quick visit, but I’m hoping that we can at least get by your museum to sat Howdy. Email me at to let me know how to contact you.

  4. It’s cooler today. You can say that a couple of times. 🙂 Make sure you don’t sit next to her next time or she might end up in heaven. Double 🙂

  5. Geezer

    Glad you like it. I couldn’t resist. The string could be replaced by leather and look cooler.

  6. Phyllis took so long to get there; it’s like my geezerette friend says, “I can’t get into heaven and the devil don’t want me.” Then again, she’s only 91.

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