Captain’s Log 4,471
There are people out there in the world whose intolerance scares the living crap out of me. There. I said it. And what truly pisses me off is the expectation that I will ALWAYS take the high road and embrace them in spite of their idiocy. Because I am nice like that. I am a very good idiot embracer. And then…..I get angry and the game is over.
I’m getting off the stupid train. That’s a term I coined from Kitchenblogic a few months ago. Stupid train. That’s what it is, and hanging around with people who violate my sense of decency is just not acceptable anymore. I cannot even pretend to like them. I have no interest in even tolerating them just to “keep the peace.” Done. Finished.
I compare this kind of thing to the fine line between erotic literature and pornography. We all know the difference, but we cannot really define it, and everyone has an individual experience. There is also a fine line between “feisty and strong-willed” and “inherently cruel-spirited.” I am getting better at spotting people who go over the line, people who are cruel at heart. In their company I find myself profoundly sad. Sometimes helpless when I even consider how damaged they have become over the years.
I don’t like being around people that close to the edge. I don’t like feeling the pressure of watching my step so carefully as not to offend them. Never mind that they are offending me without any feeling of remorse whatsoever. For some reason, my carefree attitude has given people “permission” to trounce me. Enough.
So, farewell cruel ones. I know you are on this planet to teach some sort of lesson, and I hope I have finally learned it. I hope I am finished with you so I can release you to the ethers without regret. You may not come knocking on my door again, for I must respect myself as much as I respect anyone. I count. I didn’t wound your inner child or rob you of your self esteem. It is not my job to give you those gifts at the cost of my own soul.
It really feels good to say these things. Sometimes when you have a friendly personality, people don’t realize how much they really DO hurt you. When you tell them how you feel, their first response is often anger – making it your fault somehow. Trust me, this is true. These people are master manipulators. Dangerous robbers of my peace of mind.
So that’s quite a start for a Monday, eh? Things can only go up from here. LOL!