Captain’s Log 4,455
I have decided to find a good use for the ugly watch I bought in Arizona last January when I broke my other one by clanking it against the back of the toilet in a hotel in Mesa. I have been a faithful watch wearer since I got my first one at age 10. I am completely lost without a watch. I simply MUST have one. Being without a watch for two days in January was PAINFUL. But I finally found something cheap at a Walgreens. It now has a new life.
Handy dandy all-purpose geocaching watch. Not only does it tell time, if I fall off a cliff whilst wearing it, rescue helicopters can find me easily amidst the brush and rocks. Unless I collapse with my arm under my body. Then I am toast just like anyone else without such a colorful and glorious $12 timepiece. And since the band is bendable plastic, I can wear it in the rain.
I could also wear this watch on museum Free Tuesday because it would go so well with the orange security vest I wear. Trust me, without that vest, all the Mongol horde people think I’m just a pest. But man, when I put on that amazing vest, I am SOMEBODY! The watch can only make things better.
I am still plodding through Fifty Shades of Grey. I want to be finished when I see Big Sister Mia on Sunday so I can make an appropriate face at her. I am now understanding that this book is about consensual role playing. BDSM kind of stuff. Why this book is making such a splash is beyond my ken (neener). It’s not my deal. Those closest I can come to this is when my old boyfriend Stephen smacked me on the ass with a plastic Star Wars light saber. I hit him across the side of the head with mine and broke his glasses. And that was the end of that. Try as I might, I cannot even imagine why that could be considered sexy even though plastic light sabers are right up there on the phallic scale.
Our whole fight started when he stuck me with a dinner bill at a restaurant the previous evening (dining with two others). He bought the light sabers as a peace offering. Fat chance. I started the fight because I wanted the $50 instead.
Another time, I was housesitting/petsitting for someone who had a “play room” of bondage stuff. She was a professional who brought all sorts of interesting men (and women) to her house at all hours of the day. I knew there was sex for sale but I never imagined the scope until I took care of Pookie, her little doggie. On my quest to find extra towels for the bathroom, I found the toys. Oh my goodness.
I actually have two days off this weekend. In a row! How amazing is that?????
The local newspaper ran a feature article about our exhibit. The reporter made me sound relatively intelligent. See for yourself. Gizmos and Gadgets.