Daily Archives: July 17, 2012

Fifty Shades of WTF?

Captain’s Log  4,452

Yesterday was a fine day.  The Universe works so profoundly sometimes.  I was meeting with some people and we discussed the moral character of someone who will not be identified here.  I called him a “spineless snake full of himself and out for his own gain.”  Or words to that effect.  

The people I was meeting with wanted to take me to lunch, so off we went.  When we entered the restaurant, I saw the very same spineless snake sitting at a table.  The moment he caught sight of us, he practically flew out of his chair and bolted out the back door, hoping we had not seen him.  Too late.  I saw him.  Very clearly.  I simply smiled and pointed him out to my lunch mates as he sneaked past the restaurant window (pretending to be avidly engaged in a phone call)…..because the stupid ass needed to get back to his car that was parked right in front of the place.  So, everyone got to see him make a complete fool of himself.  After I had just called him a fool less than an hour earlier.  The karma train just rolled through town!

Will this make a difference?  Who knows.  It made a difference to me, and that’s all that matters.  But money and power speak a different language than I do.  Not sure how well his stupid move translated into something they can truly appreciate.  I got a good laugh.  It actually made my day!

Big Sister Mia bought all three Fifty Shades books at Costco the other day, and she finished the first one.  She tried to lend it to some of her friends, but nobody took her up on her offer.  She asked me to read it so I too could see just how badly written it is.  For the most part, it goes like this….

“Stop biting your lip or I will f*@k you in the elevator.”

There is a tremendous amount of lip biting in this book.  Elevator sex too.  And nipple clamps.

 I took an erotic literature course in college (way back in 1972 at a CATHOLIC university in IOWA), and the stuff we read was so much better!  It had some artistry to it – something visceral other than the sex.  Oh dear.  I promised Mia I would read this.  And I will.  Full review to follow, but for now, I peer over my glasses with a look of consternation on my face.

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